An increasing number of people are now using dating sites to meet their sencond halves . Do you think that this tendency help people to socialize or does more harm tthan good ? Give your opinon
In
this
day and age, more and more individuals
have a phenomenon to meet their destiny by dating applications. However
, a number of people
think that this
trend leads to more drawbacks than the beneficial side. This
writer attempts to shed light on both the merits and demerits before concluding that the former opinion is justified and significant.
On the one hand, it is undeniable that social platforms bring about numerous advantages for young people
. Firstly
, they could connect with more people
. To explain, by communicating with others
, individuals
could expand their friend circle which might help them enhance their career, and language skills and even reduce the likelihood of isolation in not only adults but also
teenagers nowadays. For example
, it is evident that in 2020, there was 87% of Vietnamese teenagers using social applications to make friends around the world and share their daily basis. Secondly
, people
might be hooked by many influenced people
that make them have an optimistic view of life. Significantly, there are enormous famous individuals
who always bring others
happiness and beneficial realism about life which strongly affects the young who could not find are own life road and even helps those who are lured into social evils change their lifestyle to become a better version of themself.
On the other hand
, there are a host of compelling reasons as to why I am convinced that social sites could lead to many dangers in human society. First and foremost, there has been a lack of direct communication with others
in recent years. As a result
, the link between humans and humans is weaker and weaker day by day owing to the dependence on cutting-edge devices and such
dating applications. It is a clear example that the family's bond is negatively affected because the teenagers would prefer to chat with their friends rather than spend time on family talks. Another reason is that using those sites also
leads to a sedentary lifestyle in individuals
nowadays. Specifically, using dating sites means people
need to sit or even lay in a bed for a long time just to text and follow others
' lives and it has a bad effect on human health due to
many diseases such
as myotic issues, back pain, and even obesity. For instance
, the rate of people
having obesity increased sharply related to the fast-paced development of many sorts of communication platforms.
To sum up
, this
tendency could bring about many advantages, however
, this
writer strongly believed that the disadvantages mentioned before are more serious and justified.Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on
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task achievement
Your essay provides a thorough response to the task by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of dating apps. Nonetheless, there is room for improvement in the supporting examples. Consider including more statistics or studies to further substantiate your points.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, flow between some paragraphs could be enhanced. Using transitional phrases and varying sentence structures might improve the overall coherence.
task achievement
You effectively covered both sides of the argument, which demonstrates a balanced view.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion succinctly wraps up the argument while reaffirming the writer's stance, which is well done.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?