IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people say that E- books and modern technology will totally replace traditional newspaper and magazines to what extent do you agree or disagree.

#people #e- #books #technology #newspaper #magazines
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Modern day
technology
Use synonyms
 is revolutionizing our life day by day. In
this
Linking Words
 era of
technology
Use synonyms
 e - books are becoming our primary source of education. There are some people who think that electronics will completely replace our conventional source of information. But
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
 think e learning may become
primary source
Suggestion
the primary source
a primary source
 of
information but
Accept comma addition
information, but
 it will not completely replace newspapers.
Firstly
Linking Words
, with the
help of
Suggestion
help of technology, it
technology
Use synonyms
 it is possible to access books in our pocket and whenever and
whereever
where in the world
wherever
where ever
 we can easily read books.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, you
donot
Suggestion
do not
 need to go to a library or a
book store
Suggestion
bookstore
 to
purchases
Suggestion
purchase
 a book. All the information is available with just one click away.
Besides
Linking Words
 that, many news companies like CNN and BCC have opened their online websites and mobile applications, so that people can always stay update to date.
Never the less
Suggestion
Nevertheless
,
online market
Suggestion
the online market
 is expanding at
high rate but
Suggestion
a high rate, but
a high rate but
 it has some
draw backs
the quality of being a hindrance
drawbacks
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, not everyone likes to read articles on the gadgets and devices, they find it uncomfortable. They believe that computed
emit
Suggestion
emitted
 radiation that causes harm to eyes and can
also
Linking Words
 damage
nervous system
Suggestion
the nervous system
. For
instances
Suggestion
instance
, research conducted by University of T Toronto
indicate
Suggestion
indicates
 that the 70% of senior citizen prefer magazines over ebooks.
Moreover
Linking Words
, these devices need internet to operate and not all countries have
acess
the right to enter
access
 to
internet
Suggestion
the internet
. Some
develping
relating to societies in which capital needed to industrialize is in short supply
developing
 countries still lack
infrastructure
Suggestion
the infrastructure
 to support
such
Linking Words
 things. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 it is true that the number of electronic books and news has increased considerably in the recent years, but the existence of the
hardcopy
Suggestion
hard copy
 version will be irreplaceable. As some people do not feel comfortable in reading an article directly from the computer screen, and others who live in the countryside might not have the access to the
technology
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by criss on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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