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Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#people #health #alternative #medicines #treatments #doctor #development
Recently, easy access to information has provided individuals with various treatment options, including
alternative
methods
 or seeking advice from medical experts.
This
 trend has led more people to opt for
alternative
 medical care rather than consulting a doctor. Despite the numerous positive outcomes associated with
alternative
treatments
, I contend that pursuing
such
treatments
 can cause more harm than benefits. One of the prominent concerns is the lack of a quality assurance process for herbal
treatments
.
While
alternative
methods
 might work for some individuals, there is no guarantee that they will produce the same results for others, especially considering the absence of a trial phase.
Therefore
, any reported positive results may be merely coincidental.
Additionally
, patients who are unaware of their current conditions might experience worsening health
due to
 neglecting other types of
treatments
. The substantial uncertainty surrounding herbal
methods
 is a compelling reason to avoid relying on
this
 practice altogether.
Conversely
, both
doctors
 and medicines undergo rigorous certification processes before being available to the public, instilling confidence in patients.
Doctors
 not only need to undergo at least four years of education but
also
 additional years to apply their knowledge. Medicines must be thoroughly tested in labs and on various specimens to ensure their efficacy and safety. Given the meticulous process undertaken by
doctors
 and the stringent testing of prescribed medications, I feel secure entrusting my health to these experts.
In contrast
, herbal medicine lacks the certification and quality-check processes applied to
doctors
 and their prescribed drugs. In conclusion,
while
alternative
methods
 may offer benefits, the drawbacks, particularly the uncertainty associated with these
treatments
, outweigh the advantages when compared to experienced
doctors
. Opting for treatment from certified medical professionals,
along with
 their prescribed medications, is more convincing
due to
 the rigorous certification and quality-check processes involved.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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task achievement
The essay presents a clear position which addresses the question directly and is developed throughout the essay. Nevertheless, to achieve a higher score, make sure that the response is fully extended by illustrating points with relevant, detailed examples. The argument could be strengthened by providing specific instances where alternative medicine either benefitted or harmed patients.
coherence cohesion
While the essay has a logical flow and presents clear main points, it would benefit from improved transitions and a wider range of cohesive devices that tie ideas together more fluidly. The conclusion is clear, but the introduction could be more engaging to set the tone for the rest of the essay. Use a mixture of linking words and phrases to create a seamless progression of ideas.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • alternative medicines
  • treatments
  • positive development
  • negative development
  • health problems
  • usual doctor
  • access
  • personalized approach
  • holistic well-being
  • lack of regulation
  • evidence-based research
  • proper medical treatment
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