Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#people #health #alternative #medicines #treatments #doctor #development

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Recently, easy access to information has provided individuals with various treatment options, including

alternative

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methods

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or seeking advice from medical experts.

This

Linking Words

trend has led more people to opt for

alternative

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medical care rather than consulting a doctor. Despite the numerous positive outcomes associated with

alternative

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treatments

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, I contend that pursuing

such

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treatments

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can cause more harm than benefits. One of the prominent concerns is the lack of a quality assurance process for herbal

treatments

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While

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alternative

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methods

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might work for some individuals, there is no guarantee that they will produce the same results for others, especially considering the absence of a trial phase.

Therefore

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, any reported positive results may be merely coincidental.

Additionally

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, patients who are unaware of their current conditions might experience worsening health

due to

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neglecting other types of

treatments

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. The substantial uncertainty surrounding herbal

methods

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is a compelling reason to avoid relying on

this

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practice altogether.

Conversely

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, both

doctors

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and medicines undergo rigorous certification processes before being available to the public, instilling confidence in patients.

Doctors

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not only need to undergo at least four years of education but

also

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additional years to apply their knowledge. Medicines must be thoroughly tested in labs and on various specimens to ensure their efficacy and safety. Given the meticulous process undertaken by

doctors

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and the stringent testing of prescribed medications, I feel secure entrusting my health to these experts.

In contrast

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, herbal medicine lacks the certification and quality-check processes applied to

doctors

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and their prescribed drugs. In conclusion,

while

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alternative

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methods

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may offer benefits, the drawbacks, particularly the uncertainty associated with these

treatments

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, outweigh the advantages when compared to experienced

doctors

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. Opting for treatment from certified medical professionals,

along with

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their prescribed medications, is more convincing

due to

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the rigorous certification and quality-check processes involved.

Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on Sun Dec 03 2023

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task achievement

The essay presents a clear position which addresses the question directly and is developed throughout the essay. Nevertheless, to achieve a higher score, make sure that the response is fully extended by illustrating points with relevant, detailed examples. The argument could be strengthened by providing specific instances where alternative medicine either benefitted or harmed patients.

coherence cohesion

While the essay has a logical flow and presents clear main points, it would benefit from improved transitions and a wider range of cohesive devices that tie ideas together more fluidly. The conclusion is clear, but the introduction could be more engaging to set the tone for the rest of the essay. Use a mixture of linking words and phrases to create a seamless progression of ideas.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

295 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

alternative medicines
treatments
positive development
negative development
health problems
usual doctor
access
personalized approach
holistic well-being
lack of regulation
evidence-based research
proper medical treatment

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Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

The use of personal cars has increased more than ever before but this use of cars causes many problems. What are those problems? To reduce these problems, should we discourage people to use cars? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.

Robot and artificial intelligence are being developed to replace humans in the workplace. Why is this happening? Do you think this will have a positive or negative impact on society?

The cost of flight has decreased significantly over the last decade. This has made overseas travel much more accessible. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this trend.