: In many countries, more and more people want to study at universities. Why is this happening? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

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Introduction
Nowadays, the
students
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’ passion for studying at
universities
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is increasing significantly. The main reasons why
people
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choose the university are to find a better job and to learn useful skills.
Although
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wasting
time
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and being under heavy stress behind it can be negative, I firmly believe it is advantageous for both society and
students
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.
Body paragraph 1
Many
people
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are eager to study at institutions for several reasons.
Firstly
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, they want to learn the necessary skills. The
universities
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offer an atmosphere for communicating, managing
time
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, problem-solving, and making decisions
which
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, which
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are paramount for our lives.
Consequently
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, they can help them in their future life.
Secondly
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, they can acquire knowledge
that is
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useful for their future profession. If they choose a university driven by their own willingness, it is beneficial to build a solid career.
Body paragraph 2
There are some downsides to studying at
universities
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. Most importantly, studying at
universities
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is quite challenging for
students
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. There are many restrictions and rules, including deadlines, homework, being on
time
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, and wearing an uncomfortable uniform, which make learning stressful for
students
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.
Furthermore
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,
students
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can spend a significant proportion of their
time
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there. Studying at university requires a substantial proportion of
time
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.
For instance
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, in Uzbekistan, the average year of studying in a medical field represents around 6-7 years.
As a result
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, the learning and working process can require many years.
Body paragraph 3
Despite these negative
sites
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aspects
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, there are enormous benefits which are offered by
universities
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. First and foremost,
people
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can work to a high degree, with a high income. With both their personal and professional abilities, they can be employed in a top position.
Moreover
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, the public
also
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benefits from
this
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, because well-qualified teachers, doctors, and managers are an indispensable part of our society.
Conclusion
To sum up
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, in many countries, more and more
people
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want to study at
universities
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.
While
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there are some drawbacks to
this
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trend, I think it is profitable for both
students
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and the public.

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task response
Answer both parts more fully. Give clear reasons for the rise in university study, then explain more clearly why the good points are greater than the bad points.
task response
Some ideas need more support. For example, explain how a degree leads to better work, or why more trained doctors and teachers help the public.
task response
Use more exact examples. The example about medical study shows that study takes a long time, but it does not show why more people now want to go to university.
task response
Keep the focus on the trend of more people going to university. Rules, uniforms, and homework may happen in school too, so they are not the strongest bad points for university study.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear order: reasons, bad points, good points, and a final view. To make it smoother, link each paragraph more directly to the main question.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid saying the same idea again. For example, the point about spending a lot of time at university is repeated in two close sentences. State it once, then explain its effect.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer links between ideas. Instead of only using 'Firstly' and 'Secondly', show the result: 'This means that...' or 'Because of this...'.
coherence and cohesion
Make the final paragraph match your main view with simple, clear words. 'Positive' is clearer than 'profitable' when you talk about a social trend.
task response
You answer both parts of the question: you give reasons for university study and clearly say that the trend is mostly good.
task response
You include useful main ideas, such as skills, work, income, and the need for trained people in society.
coherence and cohesion
The opening gives your main view, and the ending repeats it clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Each main paragraph has one main topic, so the reader can follow your ideas easily.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
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