IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In today’s world, it’s private companies rather than government pay for and conduct most scientific research. Do you think the advantages outweigh disadvantages?

#today’s #world #it’s #companies #government #conduct #research
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is obvious that scientific investigation
used
Add a missing verb
was used
show examples
to invest
Verb problem
apply
show examples
by
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 in the past.
However
Linking Words
, in recent years, there
are
Wrong verb form
has been
show examples
 an increasing number of people
suppose
Correct pronoun usage
who suppose
show examples
 that scientific exploration should be carried out and controlled by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
private organizations rather than
Use synonyms
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
. From my perspective,
this
Linking Words
 thought brings more positive aspects than negative aspects.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 many people do not trust scientific
research
Use synonyms
 when private sources are involved because they are afraid that without
government
Use synonyms
 control, some companies could carry out illegal
research
Use synonyms
 related to nuclear weapons or unethical human experimentation, and
this
Linking Words
 can pose a serious threat to society.
However
Linking Words
, it is important for the
government
Use synonyms
 to manage their activities in order to provide high-quality and reliable results
as well as
Linking Words
 detect immediately many
industry – funded
Correct your spelling
industry–funded
show examples
 projects which have been poorly conducted and intentionally misleading. Meanwhile, it is obvious that private companies bring many benefits.
First,
Linking Words
it is recognizable that scientific
research
Use synonyms
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
 to be funded by private organizations. One added advantage is having enough human resources and having a vast number of talents who can contribute to scientific
research
Use synonyms
, and these people can reduce the expenditure on
workforce
Add an article
the workforce
a workforce
show examples
 to a degree.
Besides
Linking Words
, it helps
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 reduce pressure on national budgets because without sufficient funding, many important scientific projects would be abandoned, and
this
Linking Words
 can
make
Verb problem
have
show examples
 an adverse impact on the development of any nation.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it helps
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
can
Verb problem
apply
show examples
concentrate
to invest
Verb problem
on
show examples
 other important
sections
Correct your spelling
sectors
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as health care and education.
Second,
Linking Words
over the past few decades, there have been many private companies conducting valuable
research
Use synonyms
 on various areas
such
Linking Words
 as space exploration or renewable energy sources. In conclusion, private organizations support
budget
Correct article usage
the budget
show examples
 national and
research
Use synonyms
 state-of-the-art inventions.
Therefore
Linking Words
, its benefits can
overpowering than
Verb problem
outweigh
show examples
 the drawbacks of itself.
Submitted by Vi Tạ on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Ensure a clear and direct response to the question topic
coherence cohesion
Create a more cohesive structure with clearer connections between ideas

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: