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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

More and more wild animals are being kept in the zoo these days. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh its disadvantages?

#animals #zoo #trend
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In
this
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 day and age, the tendency of keeping wildlife in the
zoo
Use synonyms
 is becoming popular. In my opinion,
although
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this
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 trend has certain drawbacks, the benefits are more significant. On the one hand, keeping wild animal species in the
zoo
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 habitat has several negative impacts.
Firstly
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, many animals will encounter the lack of freedom because they have to live in a smaller
space
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.
For instance
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, when hippos live in the natural environment, particularly in the river, they can have a wide
space
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 to flexibly move and go to other rivers in order change their habitat,
however
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, because living in the
zoo
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, they only have a narrow
space
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, which considerably can cause them to be stressful.
Secondly
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, while various kinds of animals eating meat
such
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 as tigers and lions cannot hunt for themselves, they may tend to lose their hunting skills.
Therefore
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,
this
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 seriously makes them become lazier and face diseases relating to weight
such
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 as obesity.
On the other hand
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, I am of the opinion that
this
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 trend brings many positive benefits.
First
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 of all, thanks to living in a small
space
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, everyday, the staff can feed all these kinds of animals in the
zoo
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 easily and quickly. To be more specific, when the demands of eating are addressed totally, these animals may feel more comfortable because their areas in the natural wildlife are gaining the popularity of lacking a source of food due to animal hunting activities by humans.
Second
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 of all,
Use synonyms
zoo
Suggestion
the zoo
 is the environment where all of wild animals in here can be protected and taken care substantially by the medical staff.
For instance
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, if animals have problems with their health
such
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 as digestive system diseases or mental issues relating to their terrible memories
such
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 as being killed by hunters in order to gain their body parts like horns or skins, they totally will be alleviated these pains when living in a comfortable environment at the
zoo
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. In conclusion, I believe that the advantages of a wide range of wild animals being kept in the
zoo
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 can overshadow its disadvantages.
Submitted by Quân Minh on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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