IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people suggest that young people should take a job for a few years between school and university Discuss what the advantages and disadvantages might be for people who do this.

#people #job #years #school #university
In the present age, taking a
job
 for some years between
university
 and high school is playing an increasingly important role in students’ life. Whether it is a blessing or a danger has sparked a lot of debate in our society. Some people agree that taking a
job
 has many advantages in our community. While Others argue that taking a
job
 before
university
 has a lot of harm as well. In
this
 essay, I will discuss two sides.   A point of view has been made that taking a
job
 between the
university
 and high school has many advantages. To start with, the students who
work
 in a specialized
job
, and intend to
work
 in the same
job
 after
university
, will be more experienced in
this
 field. They will acquire more and more skills as speaking fluently and communicating with others.
Besides
, financial factor plays a great role. Students who
work
 gain more
money
 to live better and pay for their studies at
university
.
Furthermore
, taking a
job
 before the
university
 will help the students get jobs after finishing
university
 easily as they have both experience and qualifications.   No doubt, profit-driven from
work
 before
university
 has badly affected young people, especially when they end up their studies forever and never returning to
study
. In terms of enjoyment of
work
-life, they decide to continue to
work
instead
 of boring
study
. Another disadvantage is the loss of good
study
 habits and forgetting
study
 and learning.
Moreover
, they will be involved in the
work
 field and gaining more
money
 to improve their life.
For example
, they will be able to buy whatever they need through
work
 which provided them with
money
.   In conclusion, I am convinced that human being should have their own choice, luckily, there are holidays to
work
 and gain some experience and
money
 at the same time. In my opinion, the advantages of having a
job
 far outweigh the disadvantages.
Submitted by sabha on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: