IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Modern lifestyles mean that many parents have little time for their children . Many children suffer because they don’t get as much attention from their parents as children did in the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#lifestyles #parents #time #children #don’t #attention
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These days, it is said that many parents cannot get enough
time
Use synonyms
 to spend with their children. Children
also
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 struggle that they cannot attract their parents more frequently than children in the past. I can totally agree with
this
Linking Words
 idea.
This
Linking Words
 essay examines reasons that I think so.
First
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 of all, both fathers and mothers work outside these
days though
Accept comma addition
days, though
 many women were stay-at-home
mom
Suggestion
 in the past. Mothers are too busy to take care of children as carefully as the past. Even on weekends, they usually have to go to their offices and they cannot have enough
time
Use synonyms
 to play with their children.
In addition
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, social systems are not fulfilled. Marriage and Pregnancy often have negative effects on women’s career.
Secondly
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, though females’ lifestyles are totally changed, many males’ thoughts are still old-fashioned. Males usually think that women have to both look after their children and do house chores
although
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 females work as actively as themselves.
For example
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, “
ikumen
Suggestion
” is frequently featured in Japan.
This
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 means that males who can feed their children or change diapers.
This
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 is because
such
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 men are still rare in the society.
From
Suggestion
For
 these reasons, children cannot spend
time
Use synonyms
 with their parents since regulations or customs prevent them from doing so.
However
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, it is precious and essential for
children to spend
Suggestion
children, spend
children spend
 much
time
Use synonyms
 with their parents.
This
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 is because they
can be socialize
Suggestion
can socialize
can be socialized
 or they can experience many things
through
Suggestion
through such a time
such
Linking Words
time
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by Netenglish Lei on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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