IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

It is neither possible nor useful for a country to provide university places for a high proportion of young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#country #university #places #proportion #people
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It's said that it was impossible for a country to provide more
universities
 for a large number of
students
. I personally disagree with
this
 statement because of the involvement of governments and funds. These are possible to open more places for the
university
. The number of graduates from high school every year is very high and it sometimes
makes
Verb problem
causes
show examples
 some
universities
 to be in overloaded status. But it is not the reason they should reject
students
 from chasing their dreams. To handle the situation, the governments could have invested money in extending the campus of many
universities
 as an action to show their interest in education or the
university
 itself could make a plan to open more facilities which act like a part of the main facility. It not only creates an opportunity for
students
 to have a chance to apply for study but
also
 makes the approach to
university
 far more easy for them since the facilities
covered
Wrong verb form
cover
show examples
 a large area. By applying the above ideas, the shortage of a position in
university
 could be solved as
students
 do not need to worry about being unable to go to the higher rank of education.
Moreover
, with the capacity of
students
 at max level, the
university
 can run at the highest efficiency and it
also
 affects the school's income. With a large number of
students
,
universities
 can have enough money from fees to expand and improve equipment.
As a result
, they can provide in labor market with more potential employees after the well-educated college
students
 have finished their study program. In conclusion, with the support from the government, it's possible to expand more
university
 spaces for
students
 and help contribute to society's more talented young people.
Submitted by amusetour14 on

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task response
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coherence cohesion
Some parts of the essay lack clear connections and transitions between ideas. Work on creating a more coherent and cohesive flow of information.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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