IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

due to increasing density of living areas in a city,most residents are suffering from physical and social dangers.consequently, they are against living in the city. to what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement?

Topic: More and more wild
animals
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 are on the verge of
extinction
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 and others are on the endangered list. What are the reasons for
this
Linking Words
? What can be done to solve
this
Linking Words
 problem
.
Change the punctuation
?
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 A wide range of wild
animals
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 are to disappear or have the risk of
extinction
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 in the near future. Some inevitable factors play an important role
on
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in
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 the elimination of
animals
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. Some reasons why the risk of
extinction
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 grows are various, the most necessary one,
however
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, is hunting
animals
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 by people for their valuable leather or parts of
body
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the body
show examples
. Demand for natural
materials
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 of high quality increases today and people find
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 solution
on
Change preposition
to
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 hunting wild
animals
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 and using them for business purposes regarding
teeth
Correct article usage
the teeth
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 of elephants,
leather
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the leather
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 of tigers, etc.
As a
Linking Words
result
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result,
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 thousands of
animals
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 are killed by human beings. Luckily, the ways of solving
this
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 problem have been discussed for years and discussions have ended with several resolutions which might reduce the hunting of
animals
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. The best way to fix the problem would be the change of demand for
materials
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 of
animals
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 which means any companies or works should produce products without using
materials
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 of animal origin,
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instead
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instead,
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 waste must be recycled and reused.
For instance
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, some solid
materials
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 might be used
on
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in
show examples
 making some house decorations or kitchen
tool
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tools
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, but not
using
Verb problem
apply
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the horns of some
animals
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 that are durable and resilient for conditions.
Consequently
Linking Words
, hunters will not find
partner
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partners
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 to sell their
materials
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 and kill
animals
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, as well.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the process may turn back to the positive way that
risk
Correct article usage
the risk
show examples
 of animal
extinction
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 will stop soon. In conclusion, there are many kinds of solutions
about
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
Linking Words
 circumstance,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
 my point is the most significant one among them.

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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