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Band 4

due to increasing density of living areas in a city,most residents are suffering from physical and social dangers.consequently, they are against living in the city. to what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement?

#density #areas #city #residents #dangers
Topic: More and more wild
animals
 are on the verge of
extinction
 and others are on the endangered list. What are the reasons for
this
? What can be done to solve
this
 problem
.
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?
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 A wide range of wild
animals
 are to disappear or have the risk of
extinction
 in the near future. Some inevitable factors play an important role
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the elimination of
animals
. Some reasons why the risk of
extinction
 grows are various, the most necessary one,
however
, is hunting
animals
 by people for their valuable leather or parts of
body
Add an article
the body
show examples
. Demand for natural
materials
 of high quality increases today and people find
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 solution
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 hunting wild
animals
 and using them for business purposes regarding
teeth
Correct article usage
the teeth
show examples
 of elephants,
leather
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the leather
show examples
 of tigers, etc.
As a
result
Add a comma
result,
show examples
 thousands of
animals
 are killed by human beings. Luckily, the ways of solving
this
 problem have been discussed for years and discussions have ended with several resolutions which might reduce the hunting of
animals
. The best way to fix the problem would be the change of demand for
materials
 of
animals
 which means any companies or works should produce products without using
materials
 of animal origin,
instead
Add a comma
instead,
show examples
 waste must be recycled and reused.
For instance
, some solid
materials
 might be used
on
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in
show examples
 making some house decorations or kitchen
tool
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tools
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, but not
using
Verb problem
apply
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the horns of some
animals
 that are durable and resilient for conditions.
Consequently
, hunters will not find
partner
Fix the agreement mistake
partners
show examples
 to sell their
materials
 and kill
animals
, as well.
Therefore
, the process may turn back to the positive way that
risk
Correct article usage
the risk
show examples
 of animal
extinction
 will stop soon. In conclusion, there are many kinds of solutions
about
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to
show examples
this
 circumstance,
however
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however,
show examples
 my point is the most significant one among them.
Submitted by Talib on

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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