In many countries children are engaged in different kinds of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it a valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility. What is your opinion?

#countries #children #kinds #work #people #responsibility

Children in many states are involved in various types of a paid job. There are people who are not in favour of

this

, and said that it has a detrimental effect in youngster’s life, while others are of the opinion that it is vital for learning, invaluable

work

experience, and a great way to train them to be responsible. I personally agree with the later. The reason for People who are not in favour of children to

work

lies in the possibility of children to get involved in an accident because most of the workplaces are designed for fully grown employees.

Work

equipment

such

as an office table, oven are high and can be reached and operated by adults.

Also

, some equipment

such

as welding machine, drilling machine are too complicated for children to use and their strength and abilities are not suited for

such

machine. If youngsters try to operate or use these machines, they may get an accident or the worse may cause early death. It can be seen that some machines are dangerous for children to use. Having said that, I still believe that children can be benefited from doing paid

work

This

will serve as a learning experience for them. They can have an overview on how the real world works, and

this

may guide them in choosing their career in the future.

Also

, taking

work

will help them to become responsible. When they do a job, they learn their role in the company and may realize the importance of their

work

. For an instance, my cousin who did a summer job when he is still grade 6 became very responsible when he grows, now he is a successful Engineer. In conclusion,

although

some

work place

a place where work is done

workplace

and equipment are too dangerous for children, I still believe that it is invaluable in their development.

Work

experience can mould them to become responsible and they will gain insight of the real world.

Submitted by noel_baltazar on Thu Jun 25 2020

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Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

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Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

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Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

324 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In many countries children are engaged in different kinds of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it a valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility. What is your opinion?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

The best way to reduce youth crimes is to educate their parents with parental skills. To what extent you agree or disagree

School children are becoming far too dependent on computers and this is having an alarming effect on reading and writing skills. Teachers need to avoid using computers in the classroom at all costs and go back to teaching basic study skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many countries around the world, rural people are oving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

some people believe the government should spend money building train and subway lines to reduce traffic congestion. Others however think that building more and wider roads is a better way to reduce the traffic congestion. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Research shows that global warming is caused by human activity. What are the possible effects of climate change and what can governments and individuals do to reduce these?