IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #music #cultures #ages
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It has been recently argued that
music
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 can reduce
borders effect
Suggestion
the border effect
border effect
 between different nations and gathers people together regardless of their nationality or age. I believe
this
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 statement could be right about
cultural correlation while
Suggestion
the cultural correlation, while
the cultural correlation while
 it is not helpful in terms of reducing the generation gap.
As a result
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 of technological development nowadays the world like a global village and it is easy to be familiar with the variety of cultural aspects of
countries
Suggestion
the countries
 which is including
music
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 as well.
every
Suggestion
Every
 person can enjoy the melody of
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music even
Accept comma addition
music, even
 they were not familiar with the language of the song.
In addition
Linking Words
, there are thousands of
music
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 that produce in international languages like English and French every year and there are several singers who held a concert tour on different continents for foreign audiences, so cultural differences could not be a barrier.
On the other hand
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, there are some disagreements
on
Suggestion
about
 the meaning of pleasant
music
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 among different ages. Elders prefer to listen to the song which belongs to their young ages to reminisce. Their favorite types of
music
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additionally
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 often are light
music
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 or classical because these kinds of songs most of the times concentrate on topics like love and emotional perspective of life at the same time, teenagers beloved lyrics contain a social problem or political issue in some cases
also
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 there are some new types of
music
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such
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 as metal or rap that it is not easy to listen for former generations. To sum up, every society has melody producers who are popular in the whole
world but
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world, but
 unfortunately, people of different ages are not a fan of a particular form of
music
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.
Submitted by Shakiba Hashemimanesh on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal language
  • evoke
  • connect
  • diverse audiences
  • cultural exchange
  • generational gaps
  • shared experiences
  • unifying force
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