Should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth among poorer nations by providing such things as food and education? Or is it the responsibility of the governments of poorer nations to look after their citizens themselves?

#nations #wealth #food #education #responsibility #governments #citizens

is being discussed

Suggestion

has been discussed

for several years that

wealthier countries

Suggestion

the wealthier countries

have

responsibility

Suggestion

a responsibility

responsibilities

the responsibility

to help poorer countries,

in particular

with

Suggestion

food

availability and

education

. Some people believe that these are the government of poorer

nations

Suggestion

nation's

obligation to secure their citizens

food

and

education

. In my point of view, the problems of the country are government

task but

Accept comma addition

task, but

helping poorer countries to survive is a duty

for

Suggestion

all nations. As we all know from the Heath Carter certificate that

food

and

education

are human rights which means all the people all over the world have the same chance to access them. Not only written on

human right certificate

Suggestion

the human right certificate

, but

also

sustainability development goals program by United Nations prioritize to reduce hunger and increase

quality

Suggestion

the quality

education

. It means that hunger and lack of

education

problems

are global problem

Suggestion

are a global problem

which need help from wealthier countries.

In addition

, rich countries tend to have more prosperity

compare

Suggestion

comparison

to developing

countries which

Accept comma addition

countries, which

means these countries have more funding to support other countries. In example,

USA

Suggestion

the USA

has a program called Peace

Corps which

Accept comma addition

Corps, which

send a number of volunteers to be an English teacher in some rural areas in Africa and Asia. They

also has

Suggestion

also have

have also had

are also having

agricultural fellowship program

Suggestion

an agricultural fellowship program

agricultural fellowship programs

that has a goal to help farmers in Africa to cultivate a variety of plants which can serve adequate

food

production for the society. As can be

sum

Suggestion

summed

up,

food

and

education

matters are

government

Suggestion

a government

of the nation’s obligation, but these

matter

Suggestion

matters

are

also

all nations concern so that all of the nation

need

Suggestion

needs

to support each other.

Submitted by Marina Hardiyanti on Sun Jun 28 2020

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

259 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

interconnected
global stability
economic self-sufficiency
sustainable development
capacity-building
foreign aid
mutual benefits
trade relations
long-term outcomes
dependency
moral obligation
alleviate poverty
humanitarian assistance
resource allocation

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Should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth among poorer nations by providing such things as food and education? Or is it the responsibility of the governments of poorer nations to look after their citizens themselves?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

in some cultures children are often told that they can achive everything if they try hard. what are the advantages and disadvantages?

In recent years the family structures have changed as well as the family roles. What are the changes that are occouring. What do you think can be done to mend it?

Many people around the world use social media every day to keep in touch with other people and news events. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

After graduating from high school, some young people decide to start working right away instead of going to university. What are the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this?

Many people think that students should be allowed to choose the subject that they study in school, whereas others feel that they should choose the curriculum. Discuss both views and give your opinion.