Growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum. To what extent you agree or disagree?

#people #strain #health #care #system #effort #education #lessons #school #curriculum

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In the contemporary era, the use of funk food has been burgeoning, especially in young population, which leads towards several health complications and the most common among them is obesity. Certain people have conjectured that the problem of overweight can be resolved by adding the subject of physical fitness in the academic syllabus.

However

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, I agree with the given statement to a large extent. In

this

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essay, I intend to delve into the benefits of introducing the new subject related to the fitness in school curriculum. To commence with, it is irrefutable that there are various ways to promote an individual well-being. The foremost is to instill the importance of physical exercises through teachers because they act as a potter and can easily mould the mindset of their students. Most of the learners envisioned their professors and try to act upon their teachings.

Moreover

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, it is very important at government level to restrict the management of learning academies to add

this

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topic to motivate students to keep fit.

Secondly

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, Medical Doctors can

also

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play an imperative role in

this

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regard. They may develop a video related to the consequences of being overweight and can share it in every institute for the general awareness of people.

For instance

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last

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year one of the leading Hospital of Karachi ‘Tabba Heart’ ran a campaign in which they highlighted that many crucial ailments like Hypertension and Diabetes are caused due to obesity. These small activities should be managed and supervised by the state to reinforce the benefits of keeping the body in control.

Thus

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, in order to recapitulate the topic, it can be said that

although

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there are many ways to control the emerging problem of weight gain, the best way is to educate the students about the detrimental consequences of gaining the weight.

Submitted by MUHAMMAD MOEIZ AZAM on Sun Jun 28 2020

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

300 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

obesity rates
health care system
physical education
instill
long term
raise awareness
healthier lifestyle choices
nutritional education
active transport
quality of instruction
facilities and equipment
diet control initiatives
community sports programs

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Fully explain your ideas

Some people think that children should be raised by all family members like grandparents, uncles and aunts and not just parents. Discuss both side and give your opinion?

In some countries, more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this question?

Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reason why someone should learn a foreign language. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You arranged to visit a friend in England but an important event at home happened, which means that you must change the date of the visit. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter, • explain the important event • apologize for the situation • suggest a new arrangement

These days, mobile phones and the internet are very important to the ways in which people relate to one another socially. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?