Growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum. To what extent you agree or disagree?

#people #strain #health #care #system #effort #education #lessons #school #curriculum

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In the contemporary era, obesity is the burgeoning problem in the society and ultimately burdening the health care systems.

Although

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many people believe that if a physical session becomes the part of early education would dwindle load of health care system which is due to many diseases related to obesity. I support the statement to a large extent due to many reasons. My position is argued

further

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with explanation in

this

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essay. Out of all the reasons, the foremost one is the long-term approach by incorporating the sports and physical session in school curriculum.

This

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is because a child spends about 1/ 3rd of their time in schools if

such

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activities become part of their routine life will counteract the well-being issues they face. Beside

this

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school should galvanize students to participate more in extracurricular activities by keeping some rewards which will attract them and eventually they will be participating.

For instance

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, take Canada, there are many schools who take their physical strength test as obligatory in end of term and they get marks on that. So, every student must take proper physical activity throughout to keep their self-fit to get flying colours in their term exams, and

this

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way they will be undoubtedly fitter and healthier. Another reason to bolster the view is when more sports, education and athletic event will take place the younger people will ultimately develop

this

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habit and by looking at them, their family members will

also

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become the part of their activities and it will give a long lasting impact.

In other words

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, when parents being involved in

such

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activities, it will

further

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increase their interest to be fit and it will ensure the coming generation will adopt the same routine, they will be healthier and would not have the fitness issues.

For example

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, take and example of athletes, their kids remain fit, because they adopt their habits from their offsprings.

This

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is certainly a lasting way to improve public health. In a nutshell, a better way should be adopted to deal with the growing unhealthy, overweight people is by changing the lifestyle of the

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coming generation by indulging them more in sports activities via school physical sessions.

Submitted by roz jivani on Sun Jun 28 2020

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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9
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

364 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

obesity rates
health care system
physical education
instill
long term
raise awareness
healthier lifestyle choices
nutritional education
active transport
quality of instruction
facilities and equipment
diet control initiatives
community sports programs

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Include an introduction and conclusion

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