Despite huge improvements in healthcare, the overall standard of physical health in many developed countries is now falling. What could be the reason for this trend, and what can be done to reverse it?

#improvements #healthcare #health #countries #reason #trend

Today,

although

there are numerous progress and development in science, technology and society in

human being

Suggestion

human beings

the human being

, the decline in citizens’

health

in rich nations has been an alarming issue.

Hence

, understanding reasons as well as

propose

Suggestion

proposed

feasible solutions are necessary. Without a doubt, the main factors driving the drop-in standard of

health

lifestyle

Suggestion

a lifestyle

Firstly

, under pressure of working, almost residents, particularly in cities, have become workaholic. As a consequence, they have not enough time to enjoy proper meals replaced by fast food with high calories and obviously no balanced-diet.

Moreover

, it

also

causes that there is more heart attack, high blood pressure and obesity cases due to a lack of exercises and sports. Another reason could be considered that daily habits have an influence on

people fitness

Suggestion

the person's fitness

person's fitness

a person's fitness

peoples' fitness

. While some adults are lazy in doing housework or walking, a lot of children have been addicted to online games, refusing outdoor activities. These not only waste their time and

money but

Accept comma addition

money, but

also

leads to many kinds of diseases. To tackle these problems, it is essential to be

get

Suggestion

getting

involvements of both individuals and governments. On the one hand,

first

of all,

authorities

Suggestion

the authorities

should raise awareness of citizens about

heathy

having or indicating good health in body or mind; free from infirmity or disease

healthy

healthier

life through mass media. A good way to be provided that governments might organize wholesome social activities that encourage an engagement of people.

On the other hand

, individuals should prefer to eat organic food

instead

of foods and dizzy drinks

praxis

Suggestion

Praxis

Furthermore

, exercises and sports play a crucial role in human

health

Thus

, the more practicing exercises and sports the healthier and fitness they acquire. All things considered, it is undoubted that lifestyle and working pressure are root causes that account for the fall in physical

health

standard. Unless authorities and

every one

all people

everyone

share a collective responsibility, these

problem

Suggestion

problems

could become more extreme.

Submitted by Scarlett on Tue Jun 30 2020

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Fully explain your ideas

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

301 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Despite huge improvements in healthcare, the overall standard of physical health in many developed countries is now falling. What could be the reason for this trend, and what can be done to reverse it?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where did their training. Others believe they should be freen to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

People should be at least 21 years old before they are allowed to drive a car. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

In many countries, the number of animals and plants is declining. Why do you think this is happening? How can this issue be solved?

Some parents think that helping their children with homework is a good idea. Others believe children should do their homework on their own. Discuss both views and give your opinion.