At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do you think that the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#time #population #countries #adults #people #outweigh

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In modern times, the proportion of young inhabitants has reached an unprecedented level, particularly in developing countries. Those who

analyze

consider in detail and subject to an analysis in order to discover essential features or meaning

analyse

demographic changes point to both positives and negatives connected with

this

Linking Words

shift. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I intend to delve into the advantages and disadvantages of the youthful population and provide a logical conclusion. The two main advantages of young inhabitants in the community are having a fresh and educated workforce and

consequently

Linking Words

, witnessing an efficient and growing economy.

having

Suggestion

Having

young people gives a chance to the country to build an educated and civilized community.

older

Suggestion

Older

workers,

for instance

Linking Words

, are unable to keep up with technology compared with younger workers.

getting

Suggestion

Getting

aged,

furthermore

Linking Words

, may drop productivity at the workplace.

Linking Words

therefore

Suggestion

Therefore

, young and educated workforce deployment results in economic growth. Despite the aforementioned positive aspects, there are some major disadvantages to

such

Linking Words

a phenomenon. Some prominent downsides are environmental degradation and lack of

job

Use synonyms

opportunities. There is ecological destruction In order to reach

demands

Suggestion

the demands

for agriculture and accommodation which leads to biodiversity loss and rare

animals

Suggestion

animal

extinction.

Linking Words

furthermore

in addition

Furthermore

, more young people mean more

job

Use synonyms

seekers. Being said that, with the rapid increase in the youthful population, lack of

job

Use synonyms

availability is expected in the

future which

Accept comma addition

future, which

leads to psychological issues and fading cultural and social values.

Additionally

Linking Words

, increasing rural-urban migration and early withdrawal from school are other downsides of

this

Linking Words

situation. In conclusion, the young population has

certain

Suggestion

a certain

. Advantages like the flourishing economy, it has an extremely negative impact on the environment and

job

Use synonyms

availability. I believe that its drawbacks overshadow the positive aspects.

Submitted by Faraz Kh on Wed Jul 01 2020

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

261 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

demographic composition
economic dynamism
dependency ratio
social services
pension systems
technological adeptness
innovative workforce
national savings
educational demand
employment opportunities
crime rates
economic disparity

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At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do you think that the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Many people feel it is a waste of money to try to save endangered animal species, for example the tiger or the blue whale. To what extent do you agree or disagree whit this statement?

Nowadays many people complain that they have difficulties getting sleep. What problems can lack of sleep cause? What can be done about lack of sleep?

Some people believe that having a pet helps old people in living a more healthier and enjoyable life. In what ways do old people benefit from having a pet? Do you think there are any problem associated with old people having pet?