The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain in the healthcare system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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The growing population of overweight people is currently causing a significant pressure to the healthcare system. Some people believe that the key to solve

this

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issue is to integrate sports and physical activities in schools. I strongly agree that

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is the best way to deal with

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important matter regarding one's health.

To begin

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with, in my opinion, the best approach in tackling

this

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issue is to incorporate exercise programs in schools and institutions for students. Most countries, particularly in Asia, require their students to take physical education programs at an early age.

For example

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, pupils are obliged to attend a 10-minute warm-up exercises before they attend their classes.

In addition

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, it is mandatory for everyone joining clubs that offer extra-curricular activities once a week.

As a result

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, more young adults are committed to physical training and finding ways to stay healthy. For

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reason, I believe that

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technique should be included in the educational system here in North America. Not only will

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substantially benefit the students, but

also

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their family and friends. With more lessons discussing physical health, young students will be fully informed of the risks that they could face if their health deteriorates.

Moreover

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, with the increasing information being available regarding obesity, people will be more conscious now with what they eat and changing their lifestyle. To sum up, the most effective procedure to prevent people from becoming obese or unfit is

to begin

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adding fitness and physical training programs.

This

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is to assist the healthcare system with the overwhelming cases of obesity and to ensure public's good physical state and well-being.

Leslie CortezThu Jul 02 2020

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7
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

268 words

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