Some people participate in extra‐curricular activities such as volunteering in charitable events or joining dance groups to gain more knowledge and experience. Others simply focus on their goals such as academic studies or work. Which do you think helps in improving a person’s knowledge and experience and why?
#people #extra‐curricular #activities #events #dance #groups #gain #focus #goals #studies #work #person’s
While
some allocate most of their time to extracurricular Linking Words
activities
in society, others focus on their personal Use synonyms
goals
in academics or the Use synonyms
work
environment. I personally think both perspectives can help people, especially when a balanced approach is adopted.
On the one hand, participation in extracurricular Use synonyms
activities
results in individuals’ Use synonyms
overall
improvement for various reasons. Linking Words
Firstly
, social Linking Words
activities
, especially volunteering, enhance social skills Use synonyms
such
as teamwork, leadership, and communication, which enrich a person’s life. Linking Words
In contrast
, solely focusing on personal Linking Words
goals
and avoiding social Use synonyms
activities
can lead to a one-dimensional lifestyle. Use synonyms
Secondly
, group Linking Words
activities
Use synonyms
such
as joining dance clubs not only reduce negative emotions like stress, depression, and anxiety but Linking Words
also
improve an individual’s lifestyle. Linking Words
Furthermore
, participating in enjoyable group Linking Words
activities
fosters a sense of belonging to a larger community, leading to the development of meaningful friendships. Use synonyms
Additionally
, people can learn new ideas and gain knowledge from interacting with others. Linking Words
Overall
, extracurricular Linking Words
activities
can enhance individuals’ lifestyles and nurture balanced and enriched lives.
Use synonyms
On the other hand
, academic studies and professional Linking Words
work
experience contribute significantly to personal and societal advancement. Use synonyms
For instance
, major inventions and developments in human history often come from individuals who dedicate their lives to solving scientific challenges. Linking Words
Such
individuals may isolate themselves from other aspects of life, Linking Words
such
as socialization, but their contributions greatly enhance knowledge and progress. Linking Words
However
, Linking Words
while
it is true that scientific and professional achievements are the result of focus and hard Linking Words
work
, meaningful and well-rounded experiences require balance. Balancing Use synonyms
work
and extracurricular Use synonyms
activities
ensures individuals can pursue personal Use synonyms
goals
Use synonyms
while
enjoying the benefits of broader social engagement.
In conclusion, I think social Linking Words
activities
should be incorporated into individuals’ routines Use synonyms
due to
their role in fostering useful skills like communication, leadership, and teamwork. Linking Words
However
, it is equally important to emphasize personal Linking Words
goals
to achieve success and Use synonyms
fulfillment
.Change the spelling
fulfilment
Submitted by skharratian on
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task response
You did a fantastic job presenting a balanced perspective. To reach an even higher level, you could provide more specific examples to support your arguments. For instance, mentioning a well-known figure who succeeded because of balancing extracurricular activities with their professional goals would be beneficial.
cohesion coherence
Your essay has a clear and logical structure. Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly by further linking their points to the main argument. Consider additional cohesive devices to enhance this flow.
cohesion coherence
The introduction and conclusion succinctly capture your main ideas and provide a balanced view of the argument.
task response
Your ideas are articulated clearly and coherently, demonstrating an insightful understanding of the topic.