Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy ? What other things in life can make people happy ?

#people #life #money

The ultimate aim for many people across the world is to stay happy.

Although

many folks think that

money

could buy

happiness

, some strongly believes that

happiness

cannot be found in wealth.

This

essay elaborates the perspective of how cash is directly proportional to

happiness

, and explains the additional factors that make people to gain memorable occasions in

life

. On one hand, the undeniable fact is that

money

provides an immense purchasing power for individuals to enjoy

life

This

is mainly because of the social economic impact on the majority of the people creating a classy picture that rich people

enjoys

Suggestion

enjoy

life

For example

, blokes who win lottery

usually triggers

Suggestion

usually trigger

a purchasing spree of all the items like gaming consoles, music system, a house etc.

that

Suggestion

That

they would have dreamt of. Surprisingly, cash drives the emotional intelligence of people as it creates a sense of security.

On the other hand

, many factors like graduation, marriage, pregnancy gives immense pleasure to a lot of individuals across nations. These memorable incidents unlock your less explored parts of the brain, to create a sense of accomplishment.

For instance

, a lot of senior citizens always talk about their college days and how they welcomed their

first

kid in the family. It is to be understood that not only

money

provides

happiness

, but

also

fascinating incidents in

life

keep people happy and content. In conclusion, the view points for

happiness

from the perspective of

money

and other factors are explained. Hopefully, these would aid readers for better judgement.

Submitted by S Gandhi on Thu Jul 02 2020

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

253 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.5

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Financial security
Basic needs
Comfort
Luxury
Freedom
Altruistic
Philanthropy
Nurturing relationships
Fulfillment
Sense of accomplishment
Physical well-being
Spiritual beliefs
Community involvement
Gratitude
Mindfulness
Simple pleasures

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Tourism has become one of the leading sources of revenue in many countries. Do the advantages of tourism outweigh the disadvantages?

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some children spend hours every day on their smartphones.why is this case?Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Some people say that the only way to get success is to go to universities while others think that it depends on other factors. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some young people believe it’s best to move out of their hometowns when they become adults, while others wish to live in their hometowns their whole lives. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.