Some people think success in life comes from hard work and determination. Others think money and appearance are more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

#people #success #life #work #determination #money #appearance

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In today’s life, more and more people tend to focus on their career in order to achieve fame and fortune.

However

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, different person has their different ways to be successful, People mostly rise to the top of their course

as a result

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of hard work and have their own goals from the beginning, but some choose to take advantage of their presentation or wealth to be promoted quickly in their job. In

this

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essay, I will be discussing both points of view. There are several benefits of success came from hardworking and determined.

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of all, People often feel more satisfied when they are promoted after a period of working hard because they know that their effort has been paying off.

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, when students study all day long for their exams, when they achieved the highest score they will feel very cheerful.

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, having their own goals from the beginning during their studies will help people gain more experience and it could

also

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help them avoid any distractions when they are on the way to achieve their aims.

On the other hand

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, it is undeniable that looks and money

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made a huge impact on people’s work.

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, using the money to expand relationships could help people influenced their colleagues or even their director.

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will help them to be promoted rapidly in their job.

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, people’s looks could decide whether they will be promoted or not because in some cases even they are outstanding when doing their job, but without the appearance, it is difficult for the employer to put them in a high position. In conclusion, I personally believe that even though good appearance and money could help people to be successful,

however

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, hard working and willpower could make people feel more satisfied and help them reached a higher position in their occupation.

Submitted by Dilarshdeep on Thu Jul 02 2020

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

306 words

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Some people think success in life comes from hard work and determination. Others think money and appearance are more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some cities and towns believe that building outdoor recreation and public spaces is important. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people are of the opinion that children should be rewarded for good behaviour. Others think they should be punished for bad behaviour. Discuss both views and give your personal opinion and reasons.

A successful person is one who has earned a lot of money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The plans below show the layout of a university's sports centre now, and how it will look after redevelopment. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.