Practice 2: Some people say that the government should spend more money taking care of elderly people while others think that government spending should be spent more on the education of young people. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Dedicating specific amounts of
money
to take care
of old people
has become a vital topic of debate. While
some people
believe that governments should take proactive steps for this
trend, others argue that spending countless money
to improve the education
of the younger generation is more essential. Both sides of the argument highlight significant points which will be discussed by following my own view at the end
.
First of all, elderly people
face various challenges in their lives, leading to require more attention. So, the government can play a practical role in solving and reducing these challenges. Evidence is presented that, old people
not only need health
care
protections but also
face various mental health
challenges such
as a sense of isolation. Therefore
it is crucial to invest amounts of money
in pursuing their necessities. For instance
, consider an alone old man who needs to meet their daily demands such
as their daily ingredients for preparing foods or health
care
insurance toward following his monthly health
checkups.
On the other hand
, investing money
in the development of education
not only brings a sense of fulfilment to the younger generation but also
contributes to creating developed societies. Additionally
, governments should take substantial steps to encourage young people
to pursue higher education
. So, this
shift can offer significant benefits for both societies and individuals as a whole. For instance
, consider a talented young boy who is not affluent to pursue higher education
and achieve his goals. As a result
, if governments implement substantial subsidies for these types of students, they can become dramatically successful in their lives.
In conclusion, while
there are positive opinions on investing amounts of money
for elderly people
to support their health
care
issues and their necessities, some individuals argue that boosting educational sectors, especially for the younger generation is more vital. I strongly advocate the first view that spending excessive money
on elderly people
is essential in order to meet their needs.Submitted by mahanz on
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task achievement
To enhance task achievement, offer more balanced arguments for both sides, and ensure your opinion is supported with clearer reasoning.
coherence cohesion
Improve coherence by using more linking words to connect your ideas fluidly between and within paragraphs.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction clearly presents the topic and sets up the discussion. Focus on maintaining this clarity throughout.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction effectively sets the stage for the essay by presenting both perspectives and outlining your opinion.
task achievement
You use relevant examples to support both sides of the argument, which strengthen your task achievement.
coherence cohesion
The essay follows a logical structure, making it easy for the reader to follow the argument.
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