Dear Mentors, Please evaluate my IELTS ESSAY, Thanks in advance. Nowadays, men’s sport is given far more attention in society than women’s sports. What are the reasons for this? Do you think this is a positive or a negative situation?

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In recent years, male's sports are becoming increasingly popular, and they are getting far more attention than female's sports. In

this

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essay, I will discuss some of the reasons for

this

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phenomenon, and I will explain why it is a negative development. There are several reasons why society prefers men's

game

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. The most significant reason is that men's games are more entertaining and exciting to watch.

This

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is because many experts argue that men are physically stronger than women, and they put more physical efforts on the

game

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, which makes the

game

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challenging.

Furthermore

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, most of the sports matches are watched by male crowd, and they prefer to see matches which feature men. Due to

this

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, women's sport does not get enough coverage.

For example

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, In

last

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year's cricket world cup, male's matches were full of audience.

However

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, female's matches had very less audience.

However

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, I firmly believe that trend is a negative development.

This

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is because women are no different than men.

Nevertheless

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, they get very little opportunities in sports to prove their skills.

Moreover

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, due to less attention to women's

game

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, many talented sportswomen do not get any chance to showcase their talent. To illustrate, In Mumbai, India, as per a report, many sportswomen left sports and chosen some other career because they did not get support from the government and the community. In conclusion, men's sport is more popular because it is more exciting to watch, and it is preferred by the audience.

However

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this

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is a negative trend as it is discriminating and, it

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also forcce

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also forces

also force

has also forced

is also forcing

also forced

women to change their sports profession.

Submitted by elsie on Thu Jul 02 2020

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8
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

266 words

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Dear Mentors, Please evaluate my IELTS ESSAY, Thanks in advance. Nowadays, men’s sport is given far more attention in society than women’s sports. What are the reasons for this? Do you think this is a positive or a negative situation?

Public celebrations (national days, festivals) are held in many countries. Some people say that these celebrations are a waste of money and we should spend money on more important things. Do you agree or disagree?

You recently took a long vacation. In your absence, a friend did you a huge favor.

These days, a majority of animals are kept in zoos in order to save them from becoming extinct. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?