IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people think it is more important to spend public money on roads and motorways than on public transport systems such as railways and trams. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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The money spent on transportation systems is always a subject of controversy. Some people argue that the government should invest money in infrastructure
such
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 as
roads
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 and
motorways
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 rather than improving public
transport
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 systems,
nonetheless
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, both road infrastructure and public transportation are crucial and should receive equal investment.
To begin
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 with, improving
roads
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 and
motorways
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 can bring up with several benefits to the country. Reforming
motorways
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 will enhance safety and make people feel more assured when using these.
As a result
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, the number of accidents may fall significantly, and residents can be more confident when driving on newly constructed
roads
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.
Moreover
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, improving
motorways
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 will decrease the number of traffic jams. Broadening and reconstructing crowded streets can make more space for travelling,
therefore
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, helping the government to address the problem with traffic congestion during peak hours.
For instance
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, after constructing new
roads
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 and improving current, the proportion of traffic jams in Viet Nam has fallen dramatically.
On the other hand
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, I believe that public
transport
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 systems are vital in many nations indeed and they should be invested in the facilities and equipment of public transportation.
Firstly
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, it will help protect the environment by reducing the amount of carbon dioxide released into the atmosphere.
For example
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, research indicates that the increase in the use of public
transport
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 can be the most important reason leading to reducing the carbon footprint.
Furthermore
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, for people who do not own a personal vehicle, public
transport
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 is the most appealing way of travelling, compared to other methods. It is low-price, can be accessed without any difficulties, and is suitable for all ages. In conclusion, both of these aspects are crucial that authorities must consider. Rather than prioritise either, the money should be equally spent on improving highways and public
transport
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.

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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear position throughout the response. Nevertheless, you should work on fully developing your arguments with more specific examples, and avoid overly general statements. The prompt asks you to discuss to what extent you agree or disagree. Ensure that your stance is explicitly stated and maintain that perspective consistently throughout your essay.
coherence cohesion
You have made a decent attempt at logically organizing your ideas. However, a greater variety of cohesive devices and paragraphing techniques would enhance the readability and flow of your essay. Strive to connect your ideas more smoothly, and consider using a wider range of linking words throughout your response.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • infrastructure
  • public transport systems
  • economic growth
  • traffic congestion
  • carbon emissions
  • social equity
  • urban development
  • sustainable
  • mobility needs
  • revitalization
  • efficiency
  • safety
  • reliance
  • combatting
  • mitigating
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