It is a natural process for animal species to become extinct there is no reason why people should try to prevent this from happening. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

These days, there are countless people highly think that the extinction of animal

species

is an obvious phenomenon and it is not necessary for humans to have

attempts

Suggestion

attempted

to protect animals from dangers. From my point of view, I completely disagree with the view above. It can be undeniable that the majority of ancient animals have been wiped out by environmental factors

such

tsunami

Suggestion

a tsunami

or earthquake for millions of years.

Nevertheless

, in

this

society, natural disasters are not primary factors causing the extinction of animals and it can be seen that human activities now are affecting on wild animals seriously. In fact, due to the significant development of industry, individuals have destroyed habitats of

animals namely

Accept comma addition

animals, namely

forests or seas to establish infrastructures,

as a result

, creatures suffer from disturbances of the food chain as well as living in polluted habitats. To sum up, people have to be held accountable for

this

negative phenomenon. There are several other reasons why humans need to be responsible for animal

species

. In the

first

place, animals play an indispensable role in the balance of the ecosystem. It means that if

species

become extinct, other creatures and plants may suffer from the serious impacts

such

as a lack of food and drink because the food chain is disrupted.

Secondly

, wild animals which contribute to the rich bio-diversity have an essential value in culture and tourism. Indeed, there

are

Suggestion

a large number of tourists

traveling

the act of going from one place to another

travelling

in China are frequently fascinated by

pandas which

Accept comma addition

pandas, which

are the most characteristic wild animal of

this

nation. In conclusion,

although

numerous ancient animals have become extinct because of natural factors for millions of years, humans need to protect

species

from dangers now since people have caused a range of negative impacts of their habitats.

Submitted by Lê Xuân Anh on Thu Jul 02 2020

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

294 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Include an introduction and conclusion

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