The average standard of people’s health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people’s #health #future

It is true that more people have

health

issues in the modern world today. While people argue that their

health

standard might lower in the long term, I believe

this

can be

avoidable

Suggestion

avoided

in some ways. On the one hand, there are several reasons

that cause people have

Suggestion

that cause people to have

health

problems nowadays.

Firstly

, most of the employees are facing challenges from their employers and workplaces,

for

instance high

Accept comma addition

instance, high

pressure and stress could lead to mild mental problems.

Secondly

, people have poor diet due to their unstable working schedules and overtime.

Additionally

, unhealthy processed food

are

Suggestion

in high demand for most companies, as employees purchase them in order to save time to work.

Finally

, global pollution

affect

Suggestion

affects

people’s

health

as well. Contaminated food and pollutant environment have

sever

intensely or extremely bad or unpleasant in degree or quality

severe

negative impacts for people’s

health

, including long term and critical disease,

such

as cancer.

On the other hand

, these problems are possible to prevent in some ways if people pay more attention to their

health

. Fortunately, thanks to medical technology development, more diseases become curable compares to the past 100 years. X ray and ultrasounds help doctors diagnose

patients

Suggestion

patients'

patient's

symptoms,

as a result

, patients can be treated sooner and recover well.

In addition

, more pharmaceutical companies are producing nutritional supplements for people,

therefore

they can receive nutrient, regardless they are not able to have a healthy food-based diet.

Furthermore

, there are

more dietary

Suggestion

more diet

and physical activity guidelines that people can find from

internet

Suggestion

the internet

and books, so that they can have clearer views about how to eat and exercise well. In conclusion, people’s

health

standard might have a chance to lower in the future, while I believe there are ways to prevent

this

from happening.

Submitted by Peggy XIA on Fri Jul 03 2020

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

281 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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The average standard of people’s health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some school leavers choose to travel or work for a year before going to university. What might be the reasons for this? What are the disadvantages of this practice? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. Write at least 250 words.

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement

Eating a balanced diet is the most important factor for a healthy life. To what extent do you agree?

The role of education is to prepare children for the modern world schools should cut art and music out of the curriculum so that children can focus on useful subject such as information technology. To what extend do you agree or disagree

Many people today find it difficult to balance the demands of their work and personal life. What are the causes of this situation, and what can individuals and employers do to reduce the problem?