Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Technology has made children less creative than they were in the past. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
It is undoubtedly true that offspring have been more intellectual and skilful in previous times than in the present
due to
the development of advanced technology. I adamantly agree with this
notion and I will give all reasons that support my stance I will also
try to give the best example from my experience in the upcoming paragraphs.
To Commence with the first reason is the availability of advanced automation. To elaborate on this
, In the past, children did not have any advanced gadgets such
as mobile phones or electronic toys with which they spent their time instead
they spent almost all their time on handcrafting such
as playing with bamboo sticks as well as
they tried to turn paper into several shapes. Consequently
, juveniles come to know how things be ready and their skills totally improved
.
Moreover
, in previous times, children always liked to play in groups and this
kind of cooperation always enhanced the curiosity to do Something different. To explain this
, when little ones play in a group they always come up with new ideas when they are far away from automation. For instance
, In third-world countries, people do not have enough money to buy technical gadgets which leads to their kids improving their hand-crafting skills.
On the other hand
, some people make such
arguments that centuries ago small ones were not as intelligent as in the present due to
the use of technical devices. To explore further
, automation always helps children to do something special and it assists them to expand their intellectual virtue. They think that technology is the only way the world can fight future calamities.
In conclusion, I believe that juveniles in the past were more active and skillful but they also
enhanced their creative skills in the present if we provided them with the same environment at an early age as kids experienced in the past.Submitted by jagdeepsandhu357 on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay lacks clear organization, resulting in diminished logical flow. To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure that each paragraph starts with a clear topic sentence, followed by supporting sentences that develop the main idea. Transitions between paragraphs should be seamless and logical.
task achievement
Address the task more completely by ensuring that your introduction and conclusion are clearly presented with a defined thesis statement and summary of your main points. Aim for a more concise closing paragraph to convincingly summarize your argument.
task achievement
While you provide some examples to support your points, they require a more direct connection to your argument for enhanced relevance. Include specific, detailed examples that are directly related to the technological impacts on creativity, and avoid general statements with ambiguous connections to the topic.
coherence cohesion
The essay displays numerous grammatical errors and improper sentence structures that affect overall clarity. Carefully proofread your work to correct such errors, ensuring that your ideas are expressed in clear, correct English.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
