the use of electronic media has a negative effect on personal relationships between people. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

#media #effect #relationships #people

It is a common belief that electronic media have a great role in our life nowadays because it is very convenient, modern and so on.

However

, I firmly believe that may influence our daily

lifestyle

Accept comma addition

lifestyle, such

such

as personal relationships with other people.

To begin

with, people communicate by sending messages on electronic media

instead

of talk and speak

face

. It makes distant between everybody farther and farther.

For instance

, everybody found it difficult to stop when browsing the Internet, and even chose to continue browsing rather than spending time with their partners. On top of that excessively using electronic media could reduce communication skills. Indeed, people do not use body language, which makes it difficult to explain their own thoughts when facing to

face

Consequently

, due to fewer interactions, people would

face

the risk of lacking confidence which makes them scared of public speaking. In conclusion, communicating through electronic media can,

therefore

, cause some problems between people and it

can not

cannot

replace meeting and talking

face

Submitted by Dung Lê on Fri Jul 03 2020

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

170 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.5

Complete response

4.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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the use of electronic media has a negative effect on personal relationships between people. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Many museums charge for admission, while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admissions to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

International tourism has brought enormous benefits to many places. At the same time, there is concern about its impact on local inhabitants and the environment. Do the disadvantages of international tourism outweigh the advantages?

Crime rate,in most countries ,is often higer in urban areas than in rural areas .why do you think that is?what can be done to reduce the problem.

Nowadays, many medical research projects are funded by private companies. In your opinion, do you think that research should be carried by private companies, individuals or government?

Some people think that the best way to broaden young people’s understanding of the world is to encourage them to travel to other countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What other measure do you think might be effective?