Do you Agree or disagree that celebrities are paid far too much money ? Give reasons for your answer

#celebrities #money

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Entertainment is

significian

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significant

in life ,so famous people

such

Linking Words

Correct your spelling

singers ,actors,

models

Correct word choice

and models

show examples

who

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

benefit from

this

Linking Words

field.It is

argument

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argued

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that they are paid far too much

money

Use synonyms

.In my opinion, I tend to agree that they deserve a high salary for their

delication

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dedication

and effort. First of all,as other professions,

celebritieshave

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celebrities have

to give a lot of time and relentless training

effortin

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effort in

the hopes of

shinning

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shining

show examples

in the limelight .

For example

Linking Words

,, Korean trainees who spent many years efforting against

thounsands

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thousands

of ones

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reserve a debut .

Secondly

Linking Words

,not everyone has a rich artistic talent that has to go through the process of harsh training ,so that

thay

Correct your spelling

they

can compete in a fast-firing work environment.

Therefore

Linking Words

,They absolutely

deserve

Add the particle

deserve to

show examples

be paid a high income for their efforts. Another argument in

favor

Change the spelling

favour

show examples

of paying a lot of

money

Use synonyms

for the jobs which helps

decuation

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education

decoration

and

healthof

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health of

health

community .In fact,

Professtions

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Professions

such

Linking Words

as teachers,doctors,

engineers

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and engineers

show examples

who

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

have a more stable salary than well-known people.Because they do not have retirement pensions

then

Linking Words

they get older and the amount of

money

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they receive depends on the

numberof

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number of

stickets

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tickets

sold

each

Change preposition

at each

show examples

concert and profit from the music product .

While

Linking Words

the

Remove the redundancy

apply

show examples

new celebrities just appear and the old ones have to try their best to bring the quality end trendy goods in order to maintain their social position.It is undeniable that famous people are influencers who have power in

media

Correct article usage

the media

show examples

community to join them and their fans together to help the

disadvantages

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disadvantaged

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or donate charitable funds.

Futher more

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Furthermore

,the spiritual contributions of celebrities not only help us to relax but

also

Linking Words

inspire the dynamic. In conclusion,I

belive

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believe

show examples

that celebrities appropriate be paid far much

Use synonyms

money

Change preposition

of money

show examples

for their dedication.Because every

occupations

Change to a singular noun

occupation

show examples

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

equal,no job is more noble than

Correct your spelling

anyone

show examples

any one

Correct your spelling

anyone

show examples

,as long as they work true

Submitted by مسعود سهرابی on Fri Jul 03 2020

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task achievement

Improve the development of main points and examples to better support the argument

coherence cohesion

Organize the ideas more coherently and use transitional phrases to guide the reader through the essay

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
32
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

291 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

lucrative
revenue
sponsorships
merchandise
career longevity
market demand
economic contribution
role models
influence
entertainment industry

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Do you Agree or disagree that celebrities are paid far too much money ? Give reasons for your answer

Why do many people visit museums when they travel to different countries or cities?

More and more people relying on private vehicles as their major means of transportation. Describe some of the problem overreliances on cars can cause, and suggest at least one possible solution.

The apartment that you have rented was repaired recently. Later, you discovered some defects in repairs. Write a letter to your landlord. In your letter explain what the problem is suggest how it can be fixed say what you would like the landlord to do about it.

The best way to improve children’s life is fathers and mothers attending course for parenting and child development. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development.