IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Although many people value their public parks, this space could be better used for other purposes such as residential areas for ever growing population or to develop business and boost economies. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #value #parks #space #purposes #areas #population #business #economies
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Public Parks are good for
lifestyle especially
Accept comma addition
lifestyle, especially
 in
this
Linking Words
 modern era, despite of that many people believe that particular piece of land can be used for sheltering or build some commercial complex to improve
economy but
Suggestion
the economy, but
the economy but
 in my opinion recreational areas like open gardens are necessary and these are good for physical and mental health. Other issues can be resolved in any other appropriate way.
First
Linking Words
 of all, nowadays most of people are busy with their busy schedule and stressful life, these
greeneries
a storehouse for threshed grain or animal feed
granaries
 and public parks are essential for daily life. It helps kids in playing outdoor game which is good for physical and mental health. Adults can spend time in doing some exercises
where as
on the other hand
whereas
 old age persons will be jogging and enjoying some fresh air. Adding all to these points it helps people to be effective and efficient which increase the total productivity.
For instance
Linking Words
,
However
Linking Words
, utilizing and constructing on that will provide the solution to the issues. It is undoubtedly population is increasing with
passage
Suggestion
the passage
 of time, but difficulties remain same. Building new houses or societies will help many homeless or placing factories and industries will create lots of employment opportunities. Despite of that, these all can be done with proper administration and landscaping.
For example
Linking Words
, China has built free-zone area for attracting investors and increase job opportunities as well as cooperative societies in villages to accommodate more people. To conclude, Residents have their own views, either
to keep
Suggestion
keep
 the entertainment land or use them for resolving these issues. In my opinion Public parks are as essential as home, community can
havebetter lifestyle
Suggestion
have a better lifestyle
have better lifestyle
. Rest of issues can solve with many other ways.
Submitted by MK on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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