Some people think that modern technology is making people more sociable, while others think it is making them less sociable. Discuss both views and give your opinion

It is often argued that technological development is necessary to live our

life

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socially. Some people might say that the advanced devices

such

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as smartphones become a part of people's social

lifestyle whereas

Accept comma addition

lifestyle, whereas

, others claim that it influences the relation worse in the community.

Although

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modern technology makes some people lonely, I strongly think that it is more useful to grow up the social

life

Use synonyms

This

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essay will address the perspective of both views of the technological development.

First

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of all, some people may be isolated by the technologies.

In other words

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, individualism would be being stronger. The number of individuals tends to avoid hanging out with their friends because they might feel spending much time themselves with the mobile devices are better.

For example

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, some people think that meeting others are useless and

then

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they may decide to use smartphones because no one disturbs them which means they can keep the privacy.

Thus

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, interaction with each other will decrease from playing with the modern technologies and it would connect individuals'

life

Use synonyms

less sociable.

On the other hand

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, it is helpful to increase the quality of the social relation for each other. People's communication skills would be improved because they are able to contact their mates much more than before the generation that the advanced development did not exist.

For instance

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, they can talk without face-to-face through the mobile apps

such

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as Facebook because the latest technologies make it happen very easily and efficiently.

Thus

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, the individuals' social relationship is going to grow up to enjoy their

life

Use synonyms

with their friends. In conclusion, in spite of the fact that some people might have loneliness, they need to use the latest things to improve their communications. When people who prefer to stay alone overcome the shyness, the advanced devices are the best method to go up the quality of

life

Use synonyms

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Jul 4, 2020

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

309 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

online marketplaces
mobile payment options
personalized advertising
accessibility
compare prices
decision fatigue
impulse buying
financial imprudence
privacy and data security
transformed
streamlined
user-friendly

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Some people think that modern technology is making people more sociable, while others think it is making them less sociable. Discuss both views and give your opinion

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