IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

In some countries, people are forced to retire when they reach a certain age. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

#countries #people #age
In the business world, employees who kept loyal and dedicated to the company with length of service are called pioneers. Some of the pioneers were forced to file retirement when meeting a certain age. Though it might not what everybody would want, it is associated with pros and cons and in
this
 essay I will discuss it in the following paragraph. Retirement will make people spend most their time at home which opens a new opportunity to reconnect, bond with family members, especially with their grandchildren or any missed occasions.
Moreover
, if finances are properly managed, it is the stage of life to harvest the fruit of your labour like by going back to the things you were once passionate about. And doors for promotion will be possible with the new vacant position.
On the other hand
, forced maturation is the stage no one would want to do, especially for breadwinners or having a dependent who needs constant financial support.
For example
, medically ill children need available money for hospitalisation bills, medicine and doctor's fee. While for company, letting go of a pioneer who knows every bit of the organization would be a loss and looking for a dedicated employee who aims for success is rare. To recapitulate, able to spend more time with family, do things you were once passionate about, and a new opportunity for another employee to fill the vacant position are the advantage of forced retirement. While
on the other hand
, having a dependent or a breadwinner makes it difficult to find new ways to earn money. By depending of one circumstance, forced retirement is the phase in our life we need to do later in our life as an employee.
Submitted by Mitchie Ehra Esmeris on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: