IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The planets population is reaching unsustainable levels and people are facing shortage of resources like water, food and fuel. To what consequences may over population lead? In your opinion what measures can be taken to fight over population

#planets #population #levels #people #shortage #resources #water #food #fuel #consequences #measures #fight
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The growing
popultation
the people who inhabit a territory or state
population
 of the world is touching unsustainable height, which is putting strain on the available resources. Uncontrolled
population
Use synonyms
 may
result
Use synonyms
 in problems like anarchy as well as poor
quality
Use synonyms
 of
life
Use synonyms
. In my opinion, measure like family planning should be taken to tackle the problem of
over
too much population
overpopulation
population
Use synonyms
.
First
Linking Words
 of all, the problem of
over
too much population
overpopulation
population
Use synonyms
 may put the state in the anarchy. The unnatural growth of
population
Use synonyms
 may
result
Use synonyms
 in an imbalance of demand and supply which will
result
Use synonyms
 in the failure of state
machinary
machines or machine systems collectively
machinery
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, there will not be a sufficient source of employment
to
Suggestion
for
 the extra
Use synonyms
population resulting
Accept comma addition
population, resulting
 in more people becoming unemployed causing law and order problem in the country.
Secondly
Linking Words
, unsustainable level of
population
Use synonyms
 may
result
Use synonyms
 in poor
quality
Use synonyms
 of
life
Use synonyms
 for the citizens. The high number of public will impact the healthcare services resulting in increased number of unhealthy and sick people.
In addition
Linking Words
, there will not be adequate nutrients for people due to lack of natural resources.
Consequently
Linking Words
. It will have a direct impact on the
quality
Use synonyms
 of
life
Use synonyms
 of people.
Finally
Linking Words
, in my opinion, there should be an effective solution like family planning to
passify
Suggestion
 the problems arising due to over
population
Use synonyms
. It will control an
unorganic
relating or belonging to the class of chemical compounds having a carbon basis
organic
 growth of cities, helping to meet the requirements of the countrymen. In conclusion, unsustainable level of
population
Use synonyms
 will
result
Use synonyms
 in failure of state
machinary
machines or machine systems collectively
machinery
 as well as decreased
level
Suggestion
levels
 of
quality
Use synonyms
 of people's
life
Use synonyms
.
Hence
Linking Words
, well planned measures need to be taken to minimize the impact on mankind.
Submitted by ajay wadkar on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: