Nowadays a large amount of advertising aimed at children should be banned be¬cause of the negative effects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Magority
Suggestion
The majority
Majority
of companies that advertisement of products are targeted by children. Some
are argued
Suggestion
have argued
argue
that advertisements affect to children eagerly buy products. Especially, fast
food
Use synonyms
and gadget
products marketing
Accept comma addition
products, marketing
through to the children.
Firstly
Linking Words
, marketing of fast
food
Use synonyms
industry has been rapidly developing year by year.
Hence
Linking Words
, people have
quite busy lifestyle
Suggestion
quite busy lifestyles
a quite busy lifestyle
so could not care their children often. Some companies cleverly use that situation and promotion for children to buy own products. Busy parents allow to consume or children
desirely wants
Suggestion
desirely want
to choose fast
food
Use synonyms
. In the result, children's eating habit has been changing and tend to overweight.
Therefore
Linking Words
, children is a main consumer of game
producer
Suggestion
producing
companies. New technology or new version of computer games are protested by children as well.
Thus
Linking Words
, that kind of companies aimed at children for producing new technology. Sometimes peer pressure
tend
Suggestion
tends
to negatively influence for youth.
Essentialy
Suggestion
Essentially
, that creates addiction or changing behave which younger generation. In conclusion,
variety
Suggestion
a variety
of companies that aimed at children to advertise their products
such
Linking Words
as fast
food
Use synonyms
and gadget companies. All those
company
Suggestion
companies
advertisements might directly affect to
children
Suggestion
children's
habit and behaviour.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the companies should be responsible for their advertising
managent
the act of managing something
management
.
Submitted by nomio baganaa on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • vulnerability
  • impressionability
  • developmental stage
  • critical thinking
  • marketing tactics
  • dietary choices
  • childhood obesity
  • materialism
  • consumerism
  • parental control
  • consumption
  • advertising literacy
  • interpret
  • outright ban
  • economic repercussions
  • media outlets
  • ad revenue
What to do next:
Look at other essays: