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Writing Samples
Band 6

Films and computer games which contain violence are very popular. Some people believe they have a negative effect on society and so should be banned. Other people, however, say they are just harmless and help people to relax. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#films #computer #games #violence #people #effect #society
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It is affirmed by the majority of
movies
Suggestion
movie
 critiques that cruel and vicious shows, which have a wide reputation in our societies, deplorably and seriously affect our
communities
Suggestion
community's
community
 citizens` mindset.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, others deem that the more violence in media exist, the more pleasure it will fetch. In my perspective, I consent with the
first
Linking Words
 opinion, and the essay will illustrate that in the upcoming paragraphs. On the one hand, owing to the widespread of drastic movies and games, felonies rates have increased exponentially in our countries. To clarify, as most juveniles and adolescents unconsciously
endeavored
a purposeful or industrious undertaking (especially one that requires effort or boldness)
endeavoured
 to apply what they watch, they perpetrate a plethora of wrongdoings without considering the ensuing aftermaths from their actions. As an example, there was a rough crime, which took place in
USA
Suggestion
the USA
 in 2019, when a teenager killed his brother to apply the instructions of the prominent game at that time which was called ‘’ The Blue Whale``.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, other onlookers
opine
Suggestion
opinion
 that atrocities should exist in most films because they will bring considerable suspension and thrills.
In other words
Linking Words
, not only, do these violent scenes render their audience excited and enthusiastic, but
also
Linking Words
 they let them embrace illusion and fantasy as the plurality of these footages do not occur in reality,
For instance
Linking Words
, most thrilled movies, which contain ghosts or people who have teratogenic manifestation, do not have any relationship with our factual life, or we seldom live that experiment. To conclude, despite the fact that some viewers or players believe that brutality should significantly
pervades
Suggestion
pervade
 in media platforms, I definitely oppose that belief because of its passive sequels on our societies.
Finally
Linking Words
, it is predicted that criminalities proportions will
dramatically
Suggestion
dramatic
 upsurge due to the ubiquitous production of severe applications and films.
Submitted by Ahmed Youssef on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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