IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Artificial Intelligence is good. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#intelligence
There has been a debate as to whether
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
artificial
intelligence
 will have a positive or negative impact on our lives in the future. From my perspective, I can understand the two opposing points of view. I am both fascinated by the developments in artificial
intelligence
 and worried about its possible negative effects. On the one hand, the increasing
intelligence
 of technology should bring some obvious benefits. Machines are clearly able to do many
jobs
 better than humans can, especially in areas that require a high level of accuracy or calculations using large amounts of data.
For example
, robots are being developed that can carry out surgical procedures with greater precision than
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human
doctor
Fix the agreement mistake
doctors
show examples
.
Such
 technologies can improve safety by reducing the likelihood of human errors. It is easy to imagine how these developments can steadily improve our quality of life.
On the other hand
, I share the concerns of people who believe that artificial
intelligence
 may harm us if we are not careful. In the short term, it is likely that we will see a rise in unemployment as workers in various industries are replaced by machines.
For example
, self-driving vehicles are expected to cause redundancies in driving
jobs
 since these are repetitive
jobs
. In the medium term, if intelligent technologies gradually take
jobs
 from humans, we may find that people become unskilled and lose their sense of purpose in life. A
longer term
Add a hyphen
longer-term
show examples
 fear is that computers become so intelligent
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 so that they can make decisions without human interference and without regard for our well-being. In conclusion,
whole
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
intelligent machines will no doubt improve our lives in many ways,
the
Correct word choice
but the
show examples
 potential risks of
such
 technologies should not be ignored.
Submitted by Jenny Shi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Address both points of view more explicitly in the introduction
coherence cohesion
Ensure that all body paragraphs are clearly linked to the main topic and each other
task response
Provide a clear position on the extent of agreement or disagreement in the introduction

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • cognitive abilities
  • emotional quotient (EQ)
  • intellectual quotient (IQ)
  • neural pathways
  • genetic predisposition
  • nurture vs. nature
  • brain plasticity
  • formal education
  • lifelong learning
  • artificial neural networks
  • machine learning
  • cultural bias
  • psychometric tests
  • creativity
  • divergent thinking
What to do next:
Look at other essays: