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Writing Samples
Band 3

People are living longer. Some people think that it causes big problems. Others, however, think the aging population has many advantages for business, government and for society in general. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #population #business #government #society
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Many people believe that the aging
population
create
Suggestion
creates
 thorny problem while other think
this
 issue can good for
business
government
 and
society
.
This
 essay may
discuss my all
Suggestion
discuss all my
 points and feature my opinion.
Fisrtly
Suggestion
Firstly
, the greying
population
 can add pressure on
welfare state
Suggestion
the welfare state
,
Accept space
,
then
 make the budgets
streching
act of expanding by lengthening or widening
stretching
 because the aging
population
 drive up medical and pension payments.
For example
, older people are more vulnerable to diseases,
such
 as heart hurt or bone problems, that require special medical treatments to be effectively treated. The
government
 may give a large
budgets
Suggestion
budget
 to solve
this
.
On
Suggestion
In
 the other words, there are some advantages for
business
,
Accept space
,
government
 and
society
. In the perspective of
business
,
Accept space
,
some students who graduated college, don not have a good job,
then
 work at nursing house. And for
society
,
Accept space
,
 the aging
population
 is a living
musuem
a depository for collecting and displaying objects having scientific or historical or artistic value
museum
 of culture and traditions because they have a lot of good experience of life and skills.
Finally
, for
government
, the older people may reduce the budgets of
government
 spending
.
Accept space
.
 In conclusion, there are some benefits and drawbacks of the aging
population
 bring
for
Suggestion
in
business
,
Accept space
,
government
 and
society
.
Submitted by Ngọc Nguyễn on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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