In many countries today, if people want to find work, they have to move away from their friends and their families. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

Work has become hard to find in most nations of the world.
This
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development forces many individuals to leave behind their associates and families to work in other places. My opinion is that the advantages of working
elsewhere
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do not outweigh the disadvantages. More details are discussed in the essay below.
First,
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being employed
elsewhere
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is problematic because
one
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cannot benefit from the warmth of physical and social connections at home.
As a result
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, despite the financial benefits received from being employed,
one
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still suffers from isolation, which can lead to depression.
For example
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, a 2020 study in Belgium found that 90 per cent of mental health illnesses resulted from the loneliness associated with people living isolated lives.
Secondly
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, moving away from the family reduces the ability to save money.
This
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is because if
one
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has to pay expenses (
such
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as rent and food) in two places (for themself and their family), they have little money to put aside. I experienced
this
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when I worked abroad in 2020. The benefits of earning foreign currency in Belgium were spoiled by the sudden increase in my monthly expenses in Belgium and Zimbabwe. Of course, working in a different location could be beneficial in terms of meeting new people and experiencing a different climate or culture, but these benefits do not compare to the challenges
one
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can face, especially isolation. In conclusion,
therefore
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,
while
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people could benefit from changing geographical locations so as to find employment, my opinion is that the advantages of
this
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scenario do not outweigh the negatives.
This
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standpoint has been the basis of
this
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essay.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph clearly supports your main idea. Sometimes, the connection between sentences can be improved.
task achievement
Try to provide a more balanced view. You mention some advantages but do not elaborate on them, which can weaken your overall response.
task achievement
Consider adding a personal example or a statistic for each point to strengthen your argument.
content
Your introduction clearly states your opinion, which is good for the reader to understand your viewpoint right away.
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The use of a real-life example adds credibility and relevance to your argument, helping to illustrate your points well.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • relocation
  • employment prospects
  • professional development
  • cultural exposure
  • isolation
  • familial relationships
  • cost of living
  • career progression
  • mental health
  • significant life events
  • higher salaries
  • support families
  • broaden horizons
  • living standards
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