One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#consequences #care #people #life #expectancy #development

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Along with the medical service advancement, human longevity has been prolonged tremendously, which has come to a disputation considering the merits and the demerits of the phenomenon. The following essay will grant us a chance to get a closer insight into both sides of the argument and determine whether the extension of lifespan is beneficial to the long-term development of the human civilization. On the one hand, the life expectancy extension that goes along with a healthy state does benefit not only the society but

also

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the family.

Firstly

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, that people are healthy as they get older as the result of the improvement in medical care means they are enabled to keep making contributions to the surrounding community. The elderly people can delay their retirement or do some part-time jobs after retiring as long as they are in a good state of health.

Secondly

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, the retirees can give a hand to their family by taking care of the house as well as the grandchildren. Working parents can leave their children in safe hands while at work. The breadwinners

therefore

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are facilitated to make the most of their time to their work.

On the other hand

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, an increase in life expectancy can pose some negative impacts on the social development. In the

first

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place, when the number of people died by illness decreases, there will probably be a loss in the balance of the population scale. That the proportion of old population rises makes the society wanting in young work force, which baffles the long-term advancement of the country just like Japan in recent years.

Moreover

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, human may witness the population explosion as the death rate is inversely proportional to the birth rate.

Consequently

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, there will be a rise in demands for public services, jobs, living space. All things considered, the lifespan prolonging allows people to continue working,

however

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, it

also

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causes some difficulties baffling the development of society. From my moral perspective,

although

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the phenomenon is far more disadvantageous, people from all walks of life have a right to be cared and to live longer.

Submitted by Nhân on Tue Jul 07 2020

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

345 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

life expectancy
elderly population
health care systems
pension funds
extended family relationships
quality of life
aging population
economic growth
volunteer work
expertise
financial planning
retirement
age-related diseases
medical research
healthier lifestyles

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One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Today more people are travelling than ever before Why is this the case? What are the benefits of travelling for the traveller

Both government investment in public transport systems and reductions in public transport ticket prices would help to reduce transport pollution greatly. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Some people believe that children should be banned from using their phones during the school day. Others believe that children should be allowed to use their phones. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.