The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #strain #health #care #system #effort #education #lessons #school #curriculum

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The increasing growth of Obesity case is one of the medical field worrying, few sections of society believe that physical education should be included in the school course is the major solution of the problem. I agree with the statement.

This

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essay will decipher various reasons for my standpoint.

To begin

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with, overweight is common among children because of the availability of many fast food and bad eating habit.

Therefore

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, adding various physical activities should be implemented.

This

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can be illustrated by the fact that parents have less time for their offspring to be attentive and give strenuous activities and cannot prepare proper meals for their kids,

as a result

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, many children bought process food that offer in many stalls,

therefore

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, subject like that are very helpful to prevent obesity.

Moreover

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this

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subject not just offer various information about

this

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problem and

also

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be included in environmental task like dancing, sports and many more.

Further

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this

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curriculum will make the children aware of the negative effects of above normal weight

such

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as diabetes, hypertension and diabetic keto acidosis are all life threatening disease.

For example

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, a child with proper knowledge could learn to tolerate of what they eat because at an early age, they are educated enough about the possible cause of obesity. To sum up, introduction of physical education in their course will help students to be aware of the negative impact of above weight average and learn to strain being obese.

Additionally

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this

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will help them to participate in various activities that the course provided.

Submitted by Mirasol Britania on Tue Jul 07 2020

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10
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

257 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

obesity rates
health care system
physical education
instill
long term
raise awareness
healthier lifestyle choices
nutritional education
active transport
quality of instruction
facilities and equipment
diet control initiatives
community sports programs

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