A lot of people who wanted to become professional athletes gave up this idea because of the fear of failure and parents' pressure. Do you think that parents should support their children who wanted to do a career in sports ?

many
Suggestion
Many
people aiming for jobs as professional athletes influenced by fear of failing and parents' pressure have given up
.
Accept space
.
In my opinion
,
Accept space
,
children wanting to make a living with sports should gain the support from their parents. In general
,
Accept space
,
jobs concerning sports
is usually concidered
Suggestion
are usually considered
is usually considered
is usually conceded
risky jobs with low financial security.
Therefore
,
Accept space
,
youngsters' dreams of becoming athletes are often driven away by their parents' preferences. Those who have chosen a career of their own will tend to impose old-fashioned prejudice which they
belived
accept as true; take to be true
believed
believe
onto their children in the form of forcing their children to follow the path they reckoned the best.
However
, children will be deprived of their right to make decisions and
thus
making them less decisive and unsure about the choices that they made. Parents pressure will cause the child to crumble
,
Accept space
,
making it harder for them to improve and get better on their own. It is certain that pressure should be lessened because not only will it make the child less
decisive but
Accept comma addition
decisive, but
also
coward
themself
reflexive form of "them"
themselves
infront
Suggestion
in front
of challenges and
thus
very likely to fail. Children' s hopes of becoming athletes are usually
shatered
ruined or disrupted
shattered
sheltered
chartered
by their parents' disapproval.For the most part
,
Accept space
,
being athletes is
concidered
carefully weighed
considered
risky jobs with unstable income and lacking job security. But no jobs
is
Suggestion
are
without risks. Accountants might lose their jobs in times of economic depression and shop owners might face huge debts when a
pademic
epidemic over a wide geographical area
pandemic
epidemic
spead
distribute or disperse widely
spread
speed
. In conclusion
,
Accept space
,
parents 'support is
definitly
without question and beyond doubt
definitely
needed especially
Accept comma addition
needed, especially
when your children choose to
do
engage in
make
a career in sports. I strongly
belived
accept as true; take to be true
believe
that with care and affection from their parents
,
Accept space
,
these children will
nodoubt
Suggestion
no doubt
suceed
attain success or reach a desired goal
succeed
succeeded
succeeds
in becoming a professional
athletes
Suggestion
athlete
.
Submitted by Pham Hoang on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • parental support
  • ambitions
  • career stability
  • physical health
  • teamwork
  • discipline
  • fame
  • financial success
  • competition
  • risk of injury
  • career span
  • coaching
  • sports management
  • sports medicine
  • backup plan
  • educational background
  • societal pressures
  • expectations
  • mental resilience
  • self-esteem
  • constructive criticism
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