Some people believe that sports is an essential part of school life for children, while others feel it should be purely optional. Discuss these opposing views and give your own opinion.

#people #sports #part #school #life #children

The necessity of

sports

activities for youngsters in school remains a questionable topic. Certain people believe that

sports

must be included as part of education,

while

others argue against

this

. In

this

essay, I will be discussing these contradicting views and will state my own opinion. On one hand,

sports

activities are necessary during school life to develop and maintain both mental and physical health among children. The mental and physical development must be balanced during early childhood to create healthy adults who can co-operate peacefully.

For example

, team

sports

such

as soccer can effectively develop qualities

such

as understanding your position, cooperation and leadership. Individual

sports

such

as playing chess develop critical thinking for individual situations.

Overall

, involvement in

sports

improves the well-being of young individuals which provides them the courage and confidence to excel in other parts of their education.

On the other hand

, not all individuals are built in a way to be involved in

sports

and it can be considered optional.

Firstly

, someone who is not physically fit enough for a certain type of activity might end up with physical injuries

while

trying it out which might interfere with the other important parts of schooling.

Secondly

, certain

sports

need very expensive equipment which cannot be afforded by all parents, which might lead to financial stress that could negatively impact the mental health of these children. The inherent talent should be detected by the parents and carefully assessed and consider sport as an alternative measure if essential. In conclusion, I neither agree nor disagree with either opinion as every student has the inherent ability to succeed in various

sports

activities and depending on the need support must be provided to the ones who are really motivated and consistent in succeeding in any sport.

Submitted by onlineconsumer on Sat Oct 19 2024

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task achievement

Expand on individual points more thoroughly to showcase clear, comprehensive ideas. For example, when discussing the drawbacks of making sports optional, delve deeper into each point to cover it comprehensively.

coherence cohesion

Work on slightly improving the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. This will enhance the reader's journey through your points and conclusions.

task achievement

The essay effectively presents both sides of the argument, contributing to the completion of the task response.

coherence cohesion

An introduction and conclusion are present, providing a solid framework for your discussion.

task achievement

The essay includes relevant examples, such as team sports like soccer enhancing cooperation and leadership skills.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

296 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that sports is an essential part of school life for children, while others feel it should be purely optional. Discuss these opposing views and give your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Companies sponsoring sports events for advertising purposes. What are the advantages and disadvantages for this? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experiences.

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high level of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

In several parts of the world, humans live near protected areas that preserve and protect wildlife. what problems could this situation cause? what solutions you can suggest?

discuss whether the advantages of nuclear energy energy outweight the potentential risk and environment concern