Some people believe that sports is an essential part of school life for children, while others feel it should be purely optional. Discuss these opposing views and give your own opinion.

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The necessity of
sports
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activities for youngsters in school remains a questionable topic. Certain people believe that
sports
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must be included as part of education,
while
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others argue against
this
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. In
this
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essay, I will be discussing these contradicting views and will state my own opinion. On one hand,
sports
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activities are necessary during school life to develop and maintain both mental and physical health among children. The mental and physical development must be balanced during early childhood to create healthy adults who can co-operate peacefully.
For example
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, team
sports
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such
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as soccer can effectively develop qualities
such
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as understanding your position, cooperation and leadership. Individual
sports
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such
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as playing chess develop critical thinking for individual situations.
Overall
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, involvement in
sports
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improves the well-being of young individuals which provides them the courage and confidence to excel in other parts of their education.
On the other hand
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, not all individuals are built in a way to be involved in
sports
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and it can be considered optional.
Firstly
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, someone who is not physically fit enough for a certain type of activity might end up with physical injuries
while
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trying it out which might interfere with the other important parts of schooling.
Secondly
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, certain
sports
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need very expensive equipment which cannot be afforded by all parents, which might lead to financial stress that could negatively impact the mental health of these children. The inherent talent should be detected by the parents and carefully assessed and consider sport as an alternative measure if essential. In conclusion, I neither agree nor disagree with either opinion as every student has the inherent ability to succeed in various
sports
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activities and depending on the need support must be provided to the ones who are really motivated and consistent in succeeding in any sport.
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task achievement
Expand on individual points more thoroughly to showcase clear, comprehensive ideas. For example, when discussing the drawbacks of making sports optional, delve deeper into each point to cover it comprehensively.
coherence cohesion
Work on slightly improving the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. This will enhance the reader's journey through your points and conclusions.
task achievement
The essay effectively presents both sides of the argument, contributing to the completion of the task response.
coherence cohesion
An introduction and conclusion are present, providing a solid framework for your discussion.
task achievement
The essay includes relevant examples, such as team sports like soccer enhancing cooperation and leadership skills.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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