It is universally accepted that eating too much sugar has a negative effect on people’s health. Therefore, some believe that the government should control the amount of sugar people consume. Others think that it is the responsibility of an individual to monitor their sugar intake. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#sugar #effect #people’s #health #believe #government #control #amount #people #responsibility #intake

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It is often argued that eating too much

sugar

will

effect

Correct your spelling

affect

show examples

your health. Others think that people who have

control

should do something about it. In

this

essay, I will discuss both views.

Also

, I will show both advantages and disadvantages.

First,

who thinks that the government should

control

their

sugar

is wrong for many reasons.

For example

, the government will lose money if they cut

sugar

around the country, so, they need to produce more

sugar

content for

country's

Correct article usage

the country's

show examples

benefit, those people need to take responsibility for cutting the

sugar

, not the country and there are many solutions to avoid

sugar

. One of those is, to try to replace those with something less

sugar

like diet snacks and try to be consistent with it. On the other side. There are many people who want the leadership to take

control

over

sugar

and they have a point about that, they don't have the ability to eat food without

sugar

because of the dopamine.

In addition

, maybe they live in a place where all the

sugar

around them so they can not stop themselves from eating it.

Therefore

, maybe they need someone to guide them about the disadvantages of eating

sugar

. In conclusion. In my point of view, I think that human needs someone to guide them because you can not know what maybe

this

thing will cause, maybe a good thing or a bad thing.

Furthermore

, there are many advantages and disadvantages, only one who can

control

it is you.

Submitted by bcynfn159 on Wed Sep 04 2024

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introduction conclusion present

Your essay would benefit from a more structured introduction. It's important to clearly state the topic and then outline the main points you will cover in your essay.

clear comprehensive ideas

Try to develop each point more thoroughly. Providing detailed examples or explanations can help strengthen your argument and improve clarity.

logical structure

Work on logical structure by ensuring that each paragraph flows smoothly to the next. Use transition words and phrases to guide the reader.

logical structure

You've presented a balanced discussion, considering both sides of the argument.

introduction conclusion present

Your conclusion effectively summarizes your opinion and relates back to the discussion points raised in your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

251 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

negative effect on health
government control
sugar consumption
public awareness campaigns
excessive sugar
regulations
tax on sugary products
limits for sugar levels
manufacturers
accountability
freedom of choice
health implications
dietary habits
lifestyle changes
reading labels
healthier alternatives
self-regulation
personal accountability
external regulations
public health measures

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