In many countries, traditional customs are being lost. Why you think is this happening? What schools and parents can do to stop it?

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Nowadays a wide range of countries

have forgotten

Suggestion

has forgotten

their national customs. While in some ways advanced technology and immigration can make

this

Linking Words

issue, family and education system, either of which

plays

Suggestion

play

a crucial role, can take some actions to preserve national events. There could be some fundamental reasons why citizens

misremember

Suggestion

their classic traditions.

Firstly

Linking Words

, the leading cause is technology. The young generations are influenced by social media,

such

Linking Words

as Instagram and Facebook,

also

Linking Words

, are encouraged to hold an international celebration.

For example

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although

Linking Words

Iranian celebrate new-year in spring, the youth prefer to hold it in January

Accept space

when Christmas is held.

Secondly

Linking Words

, the most profound one is immigration. To put it

in other

Linking Words

words it

Accept comma addition

words, it

means that by

immigrating more number

Suggestion

the immigrating number

immigrating number

of local people, day by day, individuals forget their initial family customs, and adapting themselves to the destination country. Despite these problems, there will obviously be various measurements that family and schools can apply for preventing

this

Linking Words

catastrophe. To preserve national

days

Suggestion

day

educational system serves a vital role. By extending learner's knowledge and holding an annual celebration.

For example

Linking Words

, in China and Indonesia, either of which inherits numerous local customs, pupils have to wear their local clothes on every Tuesday and explain their traditional food or culture.

Linking Words

additionally

Suggestion

Additionally

, in terms of family, parents must spend more time on children, as well as by giving gifts attract them toward cultural moments. Participating in these events would bring profound and beneficial moments for children who

consequently

Linking Words

cheerful to transform these to the

Linking Words

generation. In conclusion, traditional events have been

vanished

Suggestion

vanishing

, because of two main explanations, cutting-edge technology and migration.

In addition

Linking Words

, based on above justifications some measurements can be taken by schools and homes.

melina asadiWed Jul 08 2020

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Your opinion

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

285 words

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In many countries, traditional customs are being lost. Why you think is this happening? What schools and parents can do to stop it?

Your opinion

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Write a letter to a company asking for a refund for something you bought from them online. In your letter include: what you bought what the problem is why you want a refund

Today,more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult,such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic.What are the benefits and disadvantages for people who visit such places?