Nowadays, young people are dying from different illnesses. What are the reasons? What are possible solutions?

These days, many people are passing away in spite of their young ages. There are several illnesses causing

this

Linking Words

trend

such

Linking Words

as lung cancer, obesity, AIDS.

But

Suggestion

Both

measures could be certainly taken to cope with challenges. Illnesses in young people can be caused by

variety

Suggestion

a variety

of factors. One reason for health issues is smoking, which leads to lung cancer.

For example

Linking Words

, a person who starts to smoke cigarettes consisting of many harmful and addictive substances from

ages

Suggestion

the ages

of 17-18, is going to have issues with breathing after 10 or less years. A young person who is physically inactive and eats processed food might develop obesity. Obesity eventually causes fat to deposit in blood vessels and stops blood

to flow

Suggestion

flow

Consequently

Linking Words

, results in heart attacks and death.

Finally

Linking Words

, there is a very dangerous disease without any cures, called AIDS (acquired immunodeficiency syndrome).

This

Linking Words

disease is mostly spread by contact of body fluids.

For example

Linking Words

, during unprotected sexual intercourse, or through sharing injection drug equipment. Fortunately, there are many ways to prevent these life-threatening illnesses. By quitting smoking, one can get rid of

risk

Suggestion

the risk

of developing lung cancer.

This

Linking Words

can protect the person from many future cancers as well. Treatment of obesity can be achieved by healthy lifestyle which is obtained by eating whole foods, increasing daily exercise, low stress levels.

Finally

Linking Words

, AIDS can be simply avoided by using protection during sexual intercourse.

For example

Linking Words

, using condoms, taking in special medications. High mortality level of young people nowadays is a very critical problem.

However

Linking Words

, I believe that having

healthy and protected lifestyle

Suggestion

a healthy and protected lifestyle

might avail most of the diseases.

Diana Smith

Jul 9, 2020

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

266 words

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Nowadays, young people are dying from different illnesses. What are the reasons? What are possible solutions?

Include an introduction and conclusion

In a number of countries some prople think it is necessary to spend large sums of the money on constructing new railway linesfor very fast trains between cities. Otherss believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Many people believe that the rapid advancement of technology is causing more problems than it solves. Discuss the causes of this issue and suggest solutions

Some young people are leaving the countryside to live in cities and towns, leaving only old people in the country side. What problems are caused by this issue? What can be done to solve the situation ?

Should humans adapt to technology or should technology adapt to us? Is technology making us intellectually weaker or more intelligent? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Health services are a basic necessity for a person. Private companies have made health services quite costly for ordinary individuals. Do the advantages of private health care outweigh its disadvantages?