IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The only way to improve safety of our roads is to give much stricter punishments on driving offenses. What extent do you agree or disagree?

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People
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 have different views on methods to enhance
road
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safety
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.It is true that penalizing the breaches of traffic laws is a constructive measure, but I strongly disagree that
this
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 is the only way to increase protection on the roads because there are other alternative ways to counter
this
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 problem.I have discussed my views in
following
Correct article usage
the following
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 paragraphs. Undoubtedly, there are many types of penalties, civil or criminal, which can be imposed on harsh drivers, but
besides
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this
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this,
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 there are a number of other solutions by which
safety
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 on roads can be ensured.
Firstly
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,
test
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the test
a test
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 must be conducted before issuing
driving
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the driving
a driving
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 licence, it will make sure that no imperfect person drives a vehicle.
Secondly
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,
age
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the age
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 limit for running any mode of conveyance must be enhanced because it is observed that minors get easily confused
while
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 overtaking a vehicle, particularly in track judgements.
Moreover
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, the government should educate
people
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 about rules and
regulation
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regulations
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 regarding
road
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 laws and
consequences
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the consequences
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 of breaking
it
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them
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. A report
of
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by
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Indian
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the Indian
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 Traffic Board states that 70 % of
people
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 are not aware
about
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of
show examples
road
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 security provisions, sometimes they
didn't
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don't
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 even come to know whether they have violated the law or not.
Furthermore
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, public
safety
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 can be improved by conducting regular maintenance
check
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checks
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 of vehicles which will eventually help in avoiding
the
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apply
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accidents
due to
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 mechanical failures.
Moreover
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, speed meters and cameras can be installed on roads which supervise conveyance and will create a sense of regulating themselves.Actions
such
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 as suspension of
driving
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the driving
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permit
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permits
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 and confiscation
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of vehicle
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vehicle
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vehicles
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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also
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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harsh
measure
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measures
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 to tackle
which
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apply
show examples
people
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, who
drinks
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drink
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 and drive In conclusion, it cannot be denied that monetary punishment can control and reduce
road
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safety
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problem
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problems
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.
However
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, there are many other preventive methods which can be used to reduce course accidents

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coherence and cohesion
While you've presented valid points, ensure that each paragraph elaborates on a single clear idea to enhance clarity. Consider separating the solutions more distinctly with topic sentences.
task achievement
Try to include more comprehensive examples or data to support your arguments. This will strengthen your points and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
language accuracy
Ensure grammatical accuracy in your sentences. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement, punctuation, and sentence structure to improve the overall readability of your essay.
task achievement
You demonstrate a solid understanding of the topic and provide a range of ideas beyond just stricter punishments, reflecting critical thinking.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which helps the reader navigate your arguments.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • deterrent
  • reckless driving
  • penalties
  • responsibility
  • cultural shift
  • safe driving habits
  • points system
  • repeat offenders
  • public safety
  • education and awareness campaigns
  • environmental factors
  • poor road conditions
  • inadequate signage
  • infrastructure
  • multifaceted approach
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