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Writing Samples
Band 7

People in senior positions should be compensated with significantly higher salaries than people in lower positions in the same company. Do you agree or disagree?

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In many companies, senior
positions
Use synonyms
 are often associated with higher
salaries
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, leading to a common debate about whether these individuals should receive significantly higher pay compared to those in lower
positions
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.
While
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 some argue that the larger compensation is justified
due to
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 the greater responsibilities and skills required at the top, others believe that
such
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 disparities can create inequality and undermine employee morale.
This
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 essay will examine both perspectives before drawing a reasoned conclusion. On the one hand, proponents of high
salaries
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 for senior executives argue that these individuals are responsible for the success and direction of the
company
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. As leaders, they are tasked with making high-stakes decisions that affect the entire organization, and
this
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 level of responsibility warrants financial rewards.
Moreover
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, people in senior
positions
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 often have years of experience and specialized skills that are hard to come by, making their expertise invaluable to the
company
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's long-term success.
For instance
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, a CEO may be expected to steer a
company
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 through economic downturns or to manage complex negotiations, both of which require a high level of skill and judgment.
Therefore
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, higher
salaries
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 serve as a reflection of their contribution to the organization.
On the other hand
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, critics argue that the wage gap between senior and lower-level
employees
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 is often excessively large, leading to inequality and a lack of motivation among the workforce. When the disparity in pay becomes too pronounced, it can cause resentment among
employees
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 who feel that their hard work is undervalued.
In addition
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, it can lead to a toxic work environment where workers in lower
positions
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 feel disconnected from the
company
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's leadership. Many companies rely on the collective effort of all
employees
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, from entry-level staff to senior managers, and failing to recognize
this
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 can undermine the collaborative spirit necessary for success.
Furthermore
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, paying senior staff disproportionately high
salaries
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 may not always lead to better outcomes for the
company
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, as it can result in the alienation of
employees
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 who feel that their contribution is not being rewarded fairly. In conclusion,
while
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 there is a strong case for compensating senior executives with higher
salaries
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due to
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 their responsibilities and skills, the issue of fair pay for all
employees
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 should not be overlooked. Companies must strike a balance between rewarding top talent and ensuring that lower-level
employees
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 feel valued and motivated. Rather than focusing solely on pay disparity, organizations should aim to create an inclusive culture where all
employees
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 are recognized for their contributions, regardless of their rank.
Therefore
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,
while
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 I acknowledge the rationale for higher pay for senior
positions
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, I believe that excessive pay inequality should be avoided to maintain a positive and productive workplace.

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Task Achievement
Ensure that each point made in the essay is thoroughly developed and backed with relevant examples to enhance clarity and depth.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to vary the language and structure used to connect ideas, which will improve the overall flow and make your arguments more persuasive.
Task Achievement
While the conclusion is strong, it could benefit from a more direct restatement of your opinion to reinforce your stance on the issue.
Task Achievement
The essay provides a balanced view by discussing both sides of the argument, which shows critical thinking and an understanding of the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
The structure of the essay is clear, with a well-defined introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion that logically ties together the arguments presented.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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