IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays many people choose to be self empoyed, rather than to work for a company or organisation.Why might this be the case?What could be the disadvantages of being self employed?

In our society, many of us prefer to make their own
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bussines
a commercial or industrial enterprise and the people who constitute it
business
instead
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 work for somebody else.
This
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 may be a consequence of the development of human intelligence or for the desire to feel free.Even if
this
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 way of
life
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 can appear interesting, I can say that there are a few disadvantages in
this
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.
First
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 of all, to be self-employed involve some responsibilities
such
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 as to be a good
example
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 for employers, to know how to be a leader, to have many abilities regarding communication with people.A reason why people prefer to have their own
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bussines
a commercial or industrial enterprise and the people who constitute it
business
 is because since they are children in schools are many scholar programs who teach them how to make
money
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, to put good ideas about
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bussines
a commercial or industrial enterprise and the people who constitute it
business
 in practice. There is a general belief that if you have a
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bussines you
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business, you
business you
 earn a lot of
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money and
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money, and
this
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 is why people dream to own a company.
For
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example in
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example, in
 many films or tv shows is promoting the
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bussines
a commercial or industrial enterprise and the people who constitute it
business
 man or woman, they let the audience to see their luxury
life
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 and
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this
(used to introduce a logical conclusion) from that fact or reason or as a result
thus
 become an
example
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 for everybody.
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Furthermore people
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Furthermore, people
 who work for a company in many situations they felt that their hard work is not paid as much as it deserved. Another
example
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 of disadvantage in being self employed is the
lost
persist for a specified period of time
last
list
 of the free time or family time.Steve Jobs is the perfect
example
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, he had lots of
money
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 and an impressionable fortune, but he did not have time to spend with his children and seems that because his chaotic
life
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 his health had to suffer. Taking everything into consideration
money
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 does not mean everything, having a
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bussines
a commercial or industrial enterprise and the people who constitute it
business
 and so many responsibilities can damage the quality of the
life
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.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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