IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The best way to prevent people from smoking is to impose high taxes on tobacco products. In this way, people will be less likely to develop a long-term addiction to smoking. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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When it comes to smoking, some believe that governments have to legislate new laws regarding
taxation
Correct article usage
the taxation
show examples
 of
tobacco
Use synonyms
products
Use synonyms
 in order to decline individuals' addiction to smoking. I firmly agree with
this
Linking Words
 viewpoint
due to
Linking Words
 two compelling reasons. First and foremost, should
people
Use synonyms
 pay more for smoking
products
Use synonyms
, the rate of cigarette smoking will substantially decrease. By setting high
tobacco
Use synonyms
 taxes, smokers are required to pay an additional fee for each package of cigarettes they buy.
This
Linking Words
 results in financial stress on them, which acts as a hindering factor and
would discourage
Wrong verb form
discourages
show examples
 them from buying these
products
Use synonyms
.
Due to
Linking Words
 well-proved studies of
craving
Correct article usage
the craving
show examples
 mechanism, once a person has difficulty finding addictive substances, the possibility of giving up
this
Linking Words
 habitual action will highly increase.
For instance
Linking Words
, coming from a developing country to Canada,
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
the
cigarette
Fix the agreement mistake
cigarettes
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 much more expensive, my friend finds it hard to afford to buy his daily packet of cigarettes.
Therefore
Linking Words
, he first decreased the number of smokes, and
subsequently
Linking Words
, after three months, he entirely
quitted
Wrong verb form
quit
show examples
 smoking.
Additionally
Linking Words
, by increasing taxation on
tobacco
Use synonyms
products
Use synonyms
, governments can take steps to tackle
this
Linking Words
 problem efficiently. Should
policy-makers
Correct your spelling
policymakers
show examples
 have more revenue to invest in long-term educational approaches, they will be able to allocate enough money to increase the younger generation's knowledge about
this
Linking Words
 issue.
Moreover
Linking Words
, politicians can use the income acquired from
tobacco
Use synonyms
 taxation to provide subsidies to those who want to go through a quitting program. Because in
recent
Correct article usage
the recent
show examples
 climate, these methods are usually not affordable for most
people
Use synonyms
, they are not popular ways of quitting
tobacco
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, the Champix method is
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
salient here. As
this
Linking Words
 quitting method is costly,
people
Use synonyms
 can conveniently use it and give up their long-term lousy habit by being supported financially. In Conclusion,
due to
Linking Words
 preventing effects that high taxes on
tobacco
Use synonyms
 can have on
people
Use synonyms
 using these
products
Use synonyms
,
as well as
Linking Words
Correct article usage
the financially
show examples
financially
Change the word
financial
show examples
supports
Correct subject-verb agreement
support
show examples
 governments can provide, the rate of
tobacco
Use synonyms
 addiction among
people
Use synonyms
 would be decreased if high
tobacco
Use synonyms
 taxes become legislated.

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task response
Expand on the counterargument to provide a more balanced view and strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear and cohesive flow between paragraphs by using transitional phrases and linking words effectively.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • impose high taxes
  • tobacco products
  • prevent
  • people
  • smoking
  • long-term addiction
  • less likely
  • develop
  • discourage
  • affordable
  • reduce
  • availability
  • market
  • financial burden
  • deter
  • young people
  • start
  • generate revenue
  • government
  • invest
  • anti-smoking campaigns
  • healthcare services
  • continue
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