IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Some people think that to learn about other countries, they need to travel. Some say that it is not necessary to travel; we can have information through TV and internet. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #countries #travel #say #information #tv #internet
Some people said that
travel
 to other places is essential to learn the nation of other citizens. When others supposed we can know the other ethnic from TV and the
internet
. In my opinion, both views are the same important. On the one hand, a few experts say
travel
 plays an important role to acquire knowledge about different countries.
To begin
 with, travelling enables us to immerse ourselves in the culture of the country. On TV and the
internet
 we can watch how foreigners celebrate their festivals, but if we
travel
 to those countries we will
also
 get an opportunity to celebrate those festivals with the locals. The experiences are totally different.
Furthermore
, we can taste foreign cuisine when we
travel
.
Besides
, it
also
 gives us opportunities to improve our
second
 language skills.
On the other hand
, information about anywhere can be obtained through online sources
such
 as the
internet
, TV and mobile phones without travelling. In our modern life, the development of technology has given all of the soft information on the
internet
 or television.
For instance
, people who wish to visit difficult access continents
such
 as Antarctica, but it would be difficult for them to
travel
such
 continents due to severe weather. Thanks to the
internet
, they can obtain all kinds of knowledge with a click on the computer.
Additionally
, we can learn the language of other countries at home via the
internet
. In conclusion, both views have their advantages. I suppose that a combination of travelling and use the
internet
 is the best way to learn about different cultures in the world.
Submitted by Vĩnh An on

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Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural immersion
  • Interactions
  • Tourism
  • Local economies
  • Cross-cultural understanding
  • Carbon emissions
  • Accessibility
  • Diverse perspectives
  • Authenticity
  • Reliability
  • Virtual reality
  • Immersive experiences
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